Vidaai is just the beginning of an emotional turmoil
|   Dec 15, 2016
Vidaai is just the beginning of an emotional turmoil


Vidaai is considered as the most emotional moment, in a girl’s life. Leaving your home and family is not an easy thing to do. Amidst all the celebrations and ceremonies, somewhere in our hearts the   feeling of parting away from our families   keep building up. But the day of wedding is as such where one experiences mixed feelings of excitement, nervousness,   anxiety, happiness, joy and sorrow at the same time.  When   the time of Vidaai , we are striked by the reality and  all emotions that have build up  come out in form of tears.

But what I personally feel is that Vidaai is just the beginning of the emotional moments that are going to unfold. The real feelings kicks off after the marriage ceremonies are over.  I was the real happy bride at my weddings, posing smiles all the way and even smiling all the while during the Vidaai. Maybe, staying in hostels and away from the family all   teenage years has not made me realise the fact at that moment. Though the realization of leaving everything behind for a new life stuck to me a little late, but stuck quite hard.  There are certain moments in your married life when you start missing your family and home more than ever. No matter how happy you are in your new family, but the nostalgia can take a grip over you at any time.

These are certain moments that during the initial years of marriage, that make you feel like your life has changed and not just changed but turned over.

  1. When you visit your own home, for the “ pag phere rasam”, everybody seems to  behave as if a  very important guests have come up and they gear up for all the preparations . Common it is our home and will always be, we do not need a guest treatment. And then time for good bye is heart wrenching the same like the Vidaai again.
  2. When every now and then your mom gives you lessons on the call stating,” Ab shaadi ho gai hai beta” another phrase that makes me feel really sad. How can one ritual change what I ‘am and what I was.
  3. When festivals arrive , they are again big moments of realisation  before marriage  it meant going back home celebrating with family if not even celebrating but staying with them just chatting on random topics . But after marriage it means celebrating all the festivals in your new home and wishing your family on call or visiting them for few hours only. How life changes   amidst celebrations too there is a feeling of something missing.
  4. Whenever you feel sick, before marriage your parents would leave no stone unturned to make you feel better and stay up all night beside your bed just to make sure that you are all right. No matter how old you grow, how much caring your new family is when you fall sick you need your mother beside you which is not possible once you get married.
  5. When your younger siblings, behave like you have grown so elder to them that they need to really behave well with you when you come home. They will hesitate to ask you for a little money or some things just because they have been told that your sister is married now.
  6. The society will be more   curious in knowing what you wear, do you wear your bindi and mangalsutra. When you are at your parents home then you need to dress well , so that people feel that  you are happy at your in-laws place and they keep you well. When at  in-laws place the reverse happens  if you don’t present yourself well then again ,"Gharvalo ne aise hi bhej diya , dhang ke kapde bhi ni diye", "Kuch bhi na sikhaya". Dear society , give us a break we  are already trying to embrace the new change , we have an identity and  yes  our comfort too matters.
  7. Everyday calls to home matter the most after marriage which were earlier a weekly routine is now a everyday routine. Some calls make us cry, but we have to hide our tears.When repeated calls from home would irritate during the teenage years, but those calls now are awaited and we leave even the most important things to take calls from home.

These are just a few to name but every day brings a new challenge . A new day , a new  challenge . Life  keeps juggling  between  work , home and society keeps adding more and more burden to it The “Log Kya Bolenge”  will never let you live peacefully.The umbilical  cord may have  been cut  at the time of birth  but it is invisibly  there and will always be there.No matter what age we attain, we have our family , kids  we will always miss our home there will be no place better than it. Women are surely born  with brave hearts , it is  not easy to leave  everything behind , something that  you have been living all your  life and accept new and change your life forever . Though we may not realize it everyday , but when we look back at our lives nothing is same and with time we all  have embraced these changes with a smile on our faces. It started with Vidaai and will stay always with  us. Something that will never change 

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