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I am a mother to a 5 months old baby boy.
Life really taken a turn from the time we started planning for a baby. My mind overwhelmed with thoughts like, should I quit my job and take care of the baby? or should I go back to work and financially support my husband? At some point of time I decided to quit my job and shared the same with my hubby. It just made him feel tense, but he did not overreact and simply said, "let's not decide on it right now, try to work out on both, I will definitely help u, but if u fail to work out on both, I will leave the decision upto u". And this made a lot of sense to me.
I am a kind of woman who likes to handle things in my own manner and style, no matter even I fail, I like to learn from my mistakes. I believe self criticism will bring strength from inside and make us to do things in a better organized way. I don't mind in taking help from others but at first, I would like to try it on my own and see how it goes.
The same attitude I maintained during my pregnancy and handled the things on my own till the end of 8th month. My husband, even he was not clear on how he can help me out to make my life easy, he tried his best to support me emotionally and physically. Once 9th month started, I felt it's better to have someone with me and not to take any risk. My mother-in-law took care of me for few days and later came my mom. I am glad, I have these two wonderful woman in my life.
Finally the day came and this beautiful little one entered in my life... I struggled a lot during my delivery which was unfortunately a c-section and also at the time of breast feeding. These two things started all of a sudden and I am at a phase like 'god what's happening'.
I know things did not went as I planned and lot of advices from everyone striking me like, 'please take care of your baby'. The only thing going on my mind was, 'please give me sometime to sort out things' but my heart cried 'take action right now'.
Believe me, I did not fall in love with my baby at the first sight, it took sometime for me to realize that 'now I am a mother to this beautiful little one'. Once I started to take care of him, love started to blossom from my heart and I promised to take care of him till my last breath.
Things started to fall in place but only thing which bothered me a lot was, advices at a time from lot of people. People like to say things, some speak from their heart in a way to help us, some speak out shit which even they did not follow during their motherhood, but feels like they became the most experienced mother among all.
I like to take advices, but only when I need them and when I ask for it. Not all the time and not on everything I do. Finally I started following my instincts and that was time when I decided not to bother about other people.
People started calling me overprotective. I like to do everything on my own when it comes to my baby because I have some sort of idea on how to raise my baby and I want to go with it and I will try to stick to it. Sometimes our planning might go wrong, but I am flexible enough to adapt to new changes by understanding what lead to the changes. Everyone cannot stick to my plan because everyone have their own family, work and problems and I cannot force them to handle my baby the way I like to handle. So I decided, I will take care of everything when it comes to my baby till the time I can, and if my work and self life demands help from others, I will leave it upto them to handle in their own way. But if I have time, then sorry I will look after my baby the way I want, no matter what others feel.
People say, u must expose your baby to different conditions so that they will develop resistance. Seriously? How can a baby whose organs, bones and muscles are at developing stage, can develop stamina in this polluted environment. We adults are struggling to cope up with this heat, how can a baby survive this heat. I will protect my baby from any kind of conditions till he turns at least one year old. Once he turns one year, I will slowly let him to develop stamina to different conditions. Till that period he needs lot of rest to cope up with his each month milestones and brain development.
I will not force my child to achieve his milestones as early as possible, I will allow him to take time and once he starts doing it, I will encourage him the most possible way I can.
I don't want my kid to be extraordinary, I just want him to behave as a normal kid who smiles at little amusements he have in his life. I will try to find out what excites my kid the most, so that I can encourage him from the initial stage.
I will teach my kid
1. Moral values on every possible thing.
2. To luv himself and understand his nature, because once he is able to do that, no one can hurt him.
3. How to be strong in this competitive world where every mother or child compares with eachother in every thing they do.
4. No one is a better competitor than himself where every time he fail he should check the mistakes he has done earlier and not repeat them.
5. How to genuinely appreciate a person's talent and accept other people's success with an open heart.
6. How to win a race by believing in his talent rather than finding other person's weakness.
7. To speak and smile from heart.
I don't want my kid to be hurt by others behaviour and at the same time he should not hurt others by his behaviour.
I will teach him about compassion and self respect.
This does not mean, I will stick to my kid all the time, I will definitely have my own time and will spend ample amount of time with my hubby, so that my child will see happy and active parents, which ultimately gives him a positive energy.
We don't decide his career, myself and my husband, we will teach him how to read and understand the subject, how to play in a ground and at home, how to give a helping hand to his grand parents and parents, how to draw a picture and color it, how to handle an instrument or toy, how to speak and sing from his heart. We will let him decide his own career.
During my pregnancy, I used to think 'how my baby will look like', it is not about complexion or beauty but some kind of excitement which I believe every mother would feel during her pregnancy. Now when I look at him, I feel proud and happy to see this little one. I hold him tight and say "do u know, how much I luv u" and he replies back with his cute smile.
I just want that sweet and innocent smile on his face on everything he do.