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Sometimes nostalgia takes me back to my pre-motherhood days when life was more carefree.. yet those days also I felt I never had the time.
And then I think of all the myriad parenting responsibilities I've had over my past 6 years of motherhood. So many experiences, so many moments, so many emotions.
Experiences of losing patience and sometimes gaining patience.. Moments filled with proud smiles and sometimes with frown lines..
As a parent, I have experienced all the 9 emotions as they call it. Navras- 9 moods or Mudras- 9 dance poses of 9 different expressions.. Joy, Anger, Fear, Courage, Sad, Wonder, Disgust, Peace, Love
Joy:: Like when my son as a baby would smile and long for me, or his first toddler step, it was a pure Joy.. His kiddish talks and pranks amuse me.. His achievements, friendships, night out camps are as exciting to me... His imaginative works are fun sometimes...
Anger:: But not when the works are too messy to clean up.. Definitely Not when he comes home dirty.. Not even when he is mischievous or fussy or throwing tantrums .. These antics only make me Very Very ANGRY..
Fear:: Angry I was at myself when I lost him in a park one time.. Afraid too "what if I never find him".. I get worried during his long illnesses.. And as he grows I shall get anxious about his subjects as well..
Courage:: Guess all of these makes a parent more courageous. And I felt bravest when standing out of the playschool and hear my son cry incessantly on his first day..
Sad:: And when a child cries due to pain, it always makes a parent Sad. I also feel sad to see my son's small face after my disciplinary rebuke towards him. It will also be sad to see his pain of rejections, disappointments in the future. Sigh..But can't help it.
Wonder:: Sometimes kids bear pain much better than expected of them and I wonder how. I also wonder how observant they can be and depict it in their out-of-the-blue dialogues. Part of growing up. And its a wonderful feeling to see my son growing.. And growing fast to even realise it. Like a few days back I learnt that he could read a complete sentence, or his milk tooth had started shaking and am still in wonder.
Disgust:: Disgusting however I felt when I was asked for double the admission fees since I was a day late to collect the admission form in one of the schools. The commercial misuse around children hits hard. So does child rape, child abuse. It hits otherwise too but as a parent it hits harder.
Peace::With so much chaos all around, peace is most difficult to attain. An aspirational emotion it is, the only time am at peace is when my son goes to sleep. At least now I have come to realize the importance of me time, peace time.
Love:: Despite having a long bad day or despite being angry with my son, at the end of the day I only bestow love to him by quietly giving a peck on his cheek while he is asleep. When am playing and giggling with him, there is love, when am worried and sad for him, there is love, even when am rebuking and disciplining him , there is love. It is the strongest emotion and hidden within all the above feelings.
Love is most inspiring and keeps any parent going. Love makes up for all the pre-parenthood carefreeness. Love is the reason why parents discipline their children and enable a fulfilling life for them
Above all it is Love and pure Love, why every parent want their children to be Happy and Blessed!