Click here for shortcuts to regional language blogs and city-specific events.
We all love our parents not just because of having a biological connection. It is because we know that no one else in this world is going to love and care you more than your parents. In spite of being a grown up and a parent too, we always want their love, care and guidance. It is just their blessing that can make us feel relaxed and confident even in very tough and stressful situation.
The same thing has happened with me. During this summer I had met my parents after a long waiting of 2 years. It was a first time in my life when I kept apart from them for this much longer duration of time. I had missed them so much during this time period. And I was desperately waiting to meet them, and finally, the wait got over, when we had planned their USA visit.
We all were nervously excited for meeting them. And as I want to make this trip memorable, I had planned so many things ahead like the places to visit, the things to do…and other household management. Especially the last part was so tough and tricky but still, I had put my best effort to manage everything neat, clean and organised to please my mom. You know, like all other mom, my mom is also very fastidious, she wants everything organised. So I had done my best to make everything perfect.
Finally, the day comes, and we had a blast together as a family. We had shared all khatti-meethi baate, memories, tensions, frustrations, and happiness. All kinds of the moment. And while sharing all these moments, the next day the same thing has happened, which I had thought of. As soon as mom has entered into the kitchen, she has finds so many wrong things in my household management. Even though I had done my best effort to do things correctly but still she has observed and said “look, how many extra things (useless) you had kept in the storage? Why do you buy so many unnecessary stuff? Look, the drawers are not organised properly?
And then it was not only about the kitchen, she has made me realised many wrongs things in my household management. Like why do not you label container it will easier to find. Why these extra pillows are here, why do not you keep on an upper floor? Why do not you stored things after proper wrapping, it will make their life longer? And along with this, a long list of suggestions. I felt a bit of anger for a moment, but then I realised instantly that whatever she is saying is completely true. In spite of my best effort, I had missed so many things and it is her years’ experience, that she has caught all the loopholes instantly.
Yes! Ma you are absolutely right. I am not perfect like you. Ma, I love you, but sorry I cannot be like you. Especially when it comes to household things, I want to confess something to you, yes! It is true that I did not find much interest in household things. I get bored easily by doing same things repeatedly. I did not have patience like you; I had seen your honesty, sincerity and most importantly your keen interest in household management. You always want everything perfect and organised. You always put your best effort to maintain everything so well. I had never seen you irritated or exhausted. You always had a great passion for making a house to a perfect home. I really admire your attitude for caring even the smallest thing of our home. But ma, no doubt I also want to do things all right in household management, but being OK is all right for me, I wouldn’t be able to maintain a keen interest in household management. I do things in a hurry. I become careless sometimes. I sometimes just want to run away from these household things. I really missed u a lot; I still want your guidance in managing household things. Yes, ma! I love you ma but sorry I cannot like be you.
Oh! I think I had done a long confession here. But the story does not end here. I have to share much more, moving from home management to kids, husband…. Next day, as usual, I was telling my kids to do their routine chore and as usual, they are not in the mood to get listen to me. And very soon, I had lost my patience and I had started to speak loudly (I am hiding, actually it is shouting???) and yelling, I was in frustrated mood and I told to mom, “look mamma, they never listen to me, I am tired of this kind of behaviour, blah bla bla…and a long list of complaint. Mom was listening to me very patiently and she has said only a few things to me, “first, why you speak so loudly? Why you lost your patience so quickly? Why you over react on smallest things? Kids repeat, what and how you behaved? If you become angry on smallest matters, they will never listen to you. If you behave patiently, they will respect you…and next day when mom has handled their responsibilities it was like a miracle in home. They had done their all chores on time; there was no tension at home. And most importantly, all these things happened peacefully. Mom had talked to them and makes them understand to do all things on time. Her loving and caring nature had done a magic on them, and as a result, everything was smooth and peaceful.
Yes! Ma I had never seen you lost your patience since childhood. You are an ideal mom, you had given so much love and care but along with this love and care, you had disciplined us in your magical way. You always understand our need even when we did not tell you. You always know our problems. You always listen to us patiently. You always love us more than anything else. You always put our needs and desires above than yourself. You always had a perfect solution for our every big and small problem. You are so selfless and caring. I love you a lot ma, but sorry I cannot be like you. Yes! I also love my kids so much. But I cannot be patient like you. I cannot be so selfless all the time. I want they also understand that I am tired. I cannot always be polite; I cannot be so patient all the time. I cannot always be so nice, it is sad but true I shout a lot when things did not happen properly. I lost my patience so quickly when they wouldn’t listen to me. I get frustrated by doing the same thing again and again. I had a lot of respect for you, I admire the way you handled kids. I love you ma, but sorry I cannot be like you.
Oh! Again a confession, but the list did not get over here. Mom was trying to understand me every day that you have to be patient. Yes! It is hard to be a multitasker and complete various responsibilities together, but you have to learn this. And like an ideal student, I was in the learning process. In the next few days, now it was my husband’s turn. As usual, we both had the different style to do things. He takes so much time in doing small-small things. He is the perfectionist, he talks less and thinks a lot and while another side I am a typical quick, assertive, driven, outspoken kind of person. I love to finish things as soon as possible. And this difference often creates a state of conflict on a day to day life. And as usual, I was complaining to mom, “Look, mom, he is not doing the things the way I want...” and along with this, a list of big-small complaint. And as a response, she has smiled and told me “I had never seen Nitesh (my husband) in the angry mood? Did he get angry frequently? I had said “No”; in fact I lost my patience so easily. Did she respect your every decision? I sad…yes! Did you remember nowadays husbands are so cooperative, in old days it is only women’s responsibility to maintain a peace in house.
Yes! Ma you are right nowadays husbands are so adjusting; they do understand so many things so well. I know it was so tough in your time. You had made various sacrifices to just maintain a peace in our home. Whenever papa gets angry, you never speak a word to him. You always understand their situation and mood by saying “Kisi aur baat se mood kharab hoga?” I know you are an educated and strong opinionated woman, but you always try to avoid any unhealthy discussion to maintain a healthy atmosphere of home. You are really an incredible spouse, and a great wife. I respect you a lot; I love you a lot but sorry ma I cannot be like you. I become upset on small things. I do lots of discussion with my husband. I cannot understand all time his problems, his situation. I want that she also understand that I am tired, I want that there should be equality in every household decision. I lost my patience when things did not happen as I want.
So it was my last but not the least confession. During her stay mom has taught me so many important life lessons. It is true that in spite of being a grown up and a parent too, we always had lots of things to learnt from our parents. They had immense patient and capability to manage everything so well. And we cannot match up their level. But yes! I had learnt a lot from her during these days. I had made a promised to her that I will be patient. But at the end ma, it will be an honest effort only, because I know I love you ma but I cannot be like you ma.