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Sorry for the very long post.......
I had always been an independent girl and thank god am blessed with a life partner who values it. Never even once did it occur to me that i would have to leave my job to look after my baby. Thankfully i had my parents who have literally raised my daughter. They are her parents more than us. As I do not have the time to take her to play, its my mom who does that. Sundays are left to me and I make sure that all my time is for my little darling. It was just last Sunday when i met a mother in my building premises. Her son regularly plays with my daughter. We started talking by discussing the kids mischief, the maid not coming properly and blah blah. She herself is as qualified as I am and had been working till she got married. She was talking to me regarding resuming work after her kid starts school and I was patiently listening while our kids played. She then started on with her choices for work which was academics. She said" Working in a school would let me keep my child with me because I cant bear to leave him with anyone else. I left my job because I had to relocate with my husband and now i will try to look for options once he starts school." "You must do it if you so wish" was my abrupt answer. In the meantime both the kids started jumping on the stairs and this lady was "Baby,don't climb the stairs, you will fall down". I was enjoying my daughter playing and lady requested me to stop my child from playing on the stairs so that her son(who is a bit younger than my kid) wouldn't follow her. I said" That's the way we have been with her. She will have to learn to protect herself. If she wont fall how will she learn to get up. How will she learn to be careful?" She was literally staring at my face and continued " we don't leave his t-shirt when he walks and runs for fear that he will fall down. My hubby will not even let him get down from the sofa by himself". I really do not know why i sat there and continued the discussion of her resuming work. She went on to tell me that someone had recommended her some classes which gave her flexible timings and her issue was that they wanted somebody who could do two batches in the morning and two in the evening. "why don't you think of leaving him in a day care nearby?" I blurted out and there she was" I didn't sacrifice all my aspirations for the child to be in a day care. I am not a heartless working mother who is just worried about her career and she is ready to leave her kid behind with somebody so that she can progress. Leave that, I have never even put diapers for my kid for the fear of rashes and because of that i still do not go for long trips or even for the movies. You are just lucky that you have your parents."
I didn't know how to respond and i was luckily saved because i had to go home as it was getting dark and i excused myself saying that.
Its been almost 22 hours since the discussion and I am still wondering if its a crime to work when you have a baby. Her concerns as a mother might be okay for her but I am doubtful as to when will the child be old enough to be on his own.
I wont say that she is wrong and I am right. Maybe that's her opinion and I have a different one.
I just want all of us, especially the Indian parents, to let go of our kids and stop holding on to them. How will they grow up if we never let them? The issue is not a daycare but our attitude towards rearing our kids. A child will always be a child for the parents, no matter what his/her age is but how long and to what extent can we protect them? I always believe that our children have their own lives and if we teach them at a young age to learn by mistakes they will be groomed into better individuals. I want my daughter to have a mind of her own and not look at me for answers to questions raised at her. She should be able to stand up for herself even it means she has to stand alone. If she falls down she has to learn to get up on her own because all her life no one would be there to do that for her.
I am proud of myself for taking the stand to keep working and i am even proud of the mothers who take the decision to stay back at home and look after their kids. You need guts for both.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!