MY LITTLE ANGEL FOUND HIS WINGS BACK AND HE LEFT HIS MOM AND WENT BACK IN GOD ARMS ..
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|   May 19, 2016
MY LITTLE ANGEL FOUND HIS WINGS BACK AND HE LEFT HIS MOM AND WENT BACK IN GOD ARMS ..

At least your second baby is fit and healthy,' the doctor  told me... don't think of what is gone....just thank god for a baby who is alive ...is it that easy????? All I felt was this indescribable bleakness and here was someone trying to tell me that somehow, one day, I would be a normal mother with a family. I couldn't see how anything would ever be normal again.'...   Eleven week before my due date with jay away on a business trip...

Waking up on friday 29th january morning, i realised the normal   kicks were absent, but, at first, dismissed the fear with the thought that the babies had run out of room to move....with a little pain in my stomach ... Desperate for reassurance, i was driven to the hospital 'I was worried, but I hoped I was just an over-anxious, first-time mother...  after getting my ultrasounds and scans  done twin 1 shows that he is coming down and ready to come out...he was stuck there...where as twin 2 was absolutely fine...and my labor pain was started ..... The midwife told me we had to get the babies out immediately. Within minutes, the room was full of paediatric experts waving consent forms for an emergency Caesarean. I was very frightened, not least because my husband was far away....... all I was praying for healthy babies .....after an hour or so I have given birth to 2 beautiful baby boys .... I was so happy n excited ...I wish jay was there with me holding my hand ....my babies were taken to nicu immediately as they were premeeies .....and I was shifted to recovery room ...... in the morning jay came to me... he was so happy ...he was a proud dad of two loveable baby boys ...and then the happy movement turned into sorrow  and grief ....  doctor told us that twin 1 is  unable to breathe without a ventilator..and  the destiny, at its worst, separated us from our baby... When I saw him lifeless like a toy in my arms with Un imaginable shock..I could not believe in my eyes... How could u do this to me god !! I hate u!!! I will never pray for u..plz don't do this to me plzzz god plzz give my baby back to me..I was crying like hell ..what  wrong have I done tht god is punishing me with this....plz god don't do this to me ..my heart was shouting ...but I couldn't safe my child.. AND THEN I HEARD SOME VOICE... "MOM plz don't cry I am in the arms of God. Please don't question god don't think he is unkind...don't think he sent me to u and then snatched me from you ...I am a special child ...I came in this world to give my brother safely to u in ur arms .you can see me in him....plz give all your love and affection to him....

My baby u left and forget to tell my heart how to go on without you...

Message to god  Dear god I would have loved to hold my baby on my lap and teach him about you, but since i can't, would you hold him on your lap and tell him about me????

I miss you my baby ..each passing day I miss you a lot... Your Mom...

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