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Since girls start to understand about relationships they are taught that one day you will have a life partner who will share your sorrows and happiness, together you would face life and grow old with lots of stories to tell to your grand children. Some girls believe it and some dont. The question is why should the husband play all the roles in the life of a woman?
Why cant she have a best friend? Why cant she have a collegue to discuss? Why cant she talk about her personal problems with others?
I also believed these talks and started searching for a friend, collegue, life partner everything in my husband. The problem arose when he chose to be my husband only. I called him by his name just to feel him as my friend. In intial days he was ok with it but later when others in the home started teasing him, he told me to call him with all due respect. I dont know why but I felt like he is going far from me.
Everything was as usual but something went missing in our relationship. I used to talk non stop with him about all matters, he had different views about different things but we would talk it out. Once we were so strong in our views that it ended up in a fight. Couples fight that is normal but this time it had a different effect on our relationship. He used to see me as if I am an illiterate from any remote town of India. I tried to ignore it but come on I too have my self respect.
He never used to discuss his work or HIS family matters with me. First I used to tell him that its my family too but later I let it go as I am not interested in emotional dramas. Once in an important family matter I was dragged and someone was using me as a mask for their fight. This time also he blamed me for everything but words were more harsher.
I tried not to talk to him only but that was also a problem. He thought I am being egoistic, I am avoiding him. To certain point it was true but I felt like talking to someone. I mean really I was in a need to talk to someone, else I would think about matters and will end up blasting my head. I called my friend and discussed things with her. That resulted in even big fight saying I am discussing family matters with others.
What I was supposed to do? Talking to my husband caused fights and unrest. Talking to my friend is revealing family matters. I am not a doll with which you can play games and throw it after use. I would have discussed it with my husband only but he chose to be my husband not my friend who will listen to my side of a problem.
A life partner may share your life but it takes lot many things to share everything in a life. A friend is the one person on earth who wont judge you but will patiently listen to you. You can explain yourself to your friend or may be they will understand even if you dont explain. Blessed are the people who get a friend in their life partner.
Keep aside your judgements and ego aside and talk to your spouses. May be you will find a good friend in them. ALL THE BEST!!