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Its been a while I have been wondering how life changes after the baby arrives.From being a competitive career women I have become a mother who wakes up thinking what to feed the baby and what to put in his montessori trays.I have worn both the shoes of a working mother and a stay at home mother and know both the sides.I would not lie if I say I used to look down upon stay at home mothers before becoming a mother and tagged them lazy for many things may be.That is something you feel when you are not in the same boat and you think how you could have done things better.And the feeling is mutual for a stay at home mother who thinks how a working mother gets her things done by care takers and just have to spend few hours with the child.
I have been on both the sides as I mentioned and both the sides are equally difficult.A child behaves completely different in both the cases.And needless to mention the challenges remain slightly different yet equally difficult.
Life as working mother
While I went to office and my child was taken care ,No matter how much I consoled myself the feeling of leaving him and spending the time meant for him at office always haunted me.I thought I will get over it eventually but something or the other would happen which would make me feel the same over and over again.For instance when I almost adjusted and he was adjusted with staying with my mother while I was away ,My mother had to go back home for some work and he took time adjusting with my sister, when he adjusted with my sister he caught viral.Instances were many but I kept myself strong. At that time he started with solids and never gave the respective care taker hard time.He would eat what was offered in a good portion.My home coming in the evening used to be a grand affair with him waiting for me.It was so surprising for me that even at 8 months he exactly knew my timing and would grow impatient if I was late.But once I was home he would refuse to go to anyone except me.And till the time he slept it was like we were one.When I look back now I wonder how I managed it was so difficult managing both office and a baby.I had no time for myself or for anyone for that matter.
Life as stay at home mother
For the record I have never stayed at home ever and staying with a baby was the last thing I could have imagined.But destiny has its own plot.So here I am staying with my baby at home with a brain which constantly works for him and a heart which endlessly melts for him.Is my life easier? My answer is pretty simple if you are asked to leave a job for say I was/ am(I am currently on a sabattical) a banker, its like I left my job as a banker to become a Teacher, Artist,pshycologist,interpreter,Sweeper,cook,maid,care taker, doctor and the list is endless.Its not easy to be a SAHM,it involves a lot of stress, your child’s behaviour completely changes when you stay at home.Suddenly my child has become a picky eater and the frequency of breast-feeding has increased many folds.Although I get time for myself but it is only when he sleeps.
Talking about the guilt factor I have let it go I don’t bother if people think my baby is lagging behind even when his mother is giving him so much of time.This is the main reason for SAHM’s to stress and feel guilty.I give a damn to what people think.I am staying at home for him not to prove how smart he is to people or how me staying at home is doing good to him.
A Mother is a Mother
Stay at home or working really doesn’t make much of a difference a mother is a mother no matter what she decides to be.It is always for the best of the child if she sacrifices her career or her time while she works.
P.s- If you have been wondering what my husband was doing all the while, he was away for an assignment and was fighting another battle within for not being present while I juggled.He has been a constant support without whom I might have lost my sanity.