Vani found herself pregnant, Again - the second time. For a second she stood still before the mirror in her washroom and rechecked the two dark lines of confirmation again. A smile formed unknowingly around the corner of her mouth. Her first pregnancy didnt go as per any of her plans. she wanted it way earlier than when it happened. Almost 2 years of trying and a lot of emotional and mental trauma of not being able to conceive, she triumphantly held the pregnancy kit in her hand, with the two lines and smiled at the work of gods, who has given the blessing of a second baby without her even thinking about it.
She ran to her sleepy husband and broke his sleep with a big "I am Pregnant" shout. Half asleep, half awake Aman couldnt even react to her. Now that wasnt exactly the reaction she expected from him. she confirmed again and this time she checked he is wide awake. even in the dreary state, clearly Aman wasn't elated. He was confused a) how the hell it happened b) shit scared - how are we going to manage another one c) gosh vani seems too happy, how do i begin to share that i am not prepared for this . he remained silent for some time and kept asking - its for sure??
Later that evening once they both returned from work, they sat together and started actually talking about the situation in hand. their toddler who was 3 yrs old was trying his hand in drawing alphabets, which he has recently learnt at his playschool.
Vani held aman's hand and lovingly said - even before you start, i know you are chickened out with the idea of another baby. and i am open to see your point of view: Aman was relieved to see vani smiling and started stating some major points for not wanting to have another baby:
a) Your health condition - Previous C Sec
b) Future Financial burden
c) No support system to look after two kids
d) Less time with each other
f) Life style compromise
life feels already complete with just us, why to bring in another baby.
Vani took a deep breath and said, i completely agree with all your points and i am not sure if having the baby is going to be the right thing to do but, i really want to think from our kid's point of view
1) our kid will have his own sibling that's probably the best thing we can give to him. Having a sibling adds a whole new dimension to his life. he has atleast one more person in the world apart from the two of us to trust, fight, learn, be himself with.
2) Being a single kid might at some point rob him of the innocence of childhood. with both of us working and no one else around, he is often pushed to behave the adult way in understanding our limitations. but having a sibling might just keep his childhood untouched. he would have a permanent company and he need not always has to understand us or behave our way.
3) like we both have each other to discuss our problems, it will be nice to have a sibling for him, for them to deal their problems their own way. to share. a remote eg: if there's a death of a close family member, and we both are too busy mourning or doing the practical chores related to that event. our kids will have each other to share, discuss their fears, emotions, anxieties. never do they have to deal them alone or wait for the right time to reach out to us.
4) we have never been extravagant. why should we think we will have financial burden with two kids. Either we will learn to accommodate our needs within our salaries or we will aspire and reach higher levels to fulfill our financial aspirations. either ways, its a win win.
5) With so much advancement in the medical field, i doubt having another C-Sec is going to be that deadly. imagine how our previous generation made dozens of kids just by trusting their life on a mid wife. we are better of than those times and surely if there is any complication, the doctor will be the right person to decide.
6) we arent really planning to have a 2nd baby here, the baby has already come and i dont have the heart to send it away. its like "not having the value of something, that you havent tried for". and since we know exactly how precious our first baby is, i cant let go of this one just because it came unplanned.
Aman heard it all. though he still wasnt prepared for any of this, he replied - Just for your happiness vani and to the blind gamble of our kid having the advantages of a sibling, i support the decision.....
2 years late - Aryan was busy doing his homework, when little aditi came silently and took his pencil and started scribbling. Vani gave a shout to aditi demanding her not to disturb her brother at work. Aryan cut off vani's trail of words by saying - dont scold her mummy, she is my little sis, she is just curious, i will take another one and do my work.
vani could not help but admire his maturity and love for his little sis and the little one is so blessed to have such a caring brother. Its not like they dont fight or cry or drive her mad. deep down she know the sibling bond is way too stronger than all the seemingly trivial issues. This bond is for a lifetime.
Right them Aman walked in from work, tired and weary. Aryan showed his homework and aditi ran to him for a cozy hug. Aman instantly loosened up and got into the family mode. looking at his two children, aryan now by his side, he could only be proud and happy for not deciding against the second baby. Nothing really went bad. They were doing good health wise, financially too. if anything has changed - the love have just multiplied many folds.
P.S - having the first baby, let alone the second one is entirely the couple's decision. Through this article, i have tried to bring out the perspective of having a second baby, but its not intended to influence anyone's personal decision.