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Oh my my, motherhood is such a roller coaster ride. So far so good and i am sure, much more is waiting ahead. On this journey of motherhood, i have learnt more life lessons than cumulatively, from all the other sources put together.
One of the most radical change that has come in effect post motherhood, is i have become much more "Appreciative" of everything and everyone in life. You have made me kinder, softer, responsible and more forgiving.
Until you happened, i had many things to complain in life. Parents, inlaws, work pressure, relatives, travel, climate and what not. My world contained mostly just "ME". Everything was about me. I was selfish, self absorbed, i was not willing to make changes easily. I would rather expect others to go my way than trying to see others perspective. I had my way most of the times, but still happiness eluded me. And you came along, and you didn't even ask for anything, and i did all i can to make a better world for you and in that quest, i saw so much good around.
The parents, with whom i would have fought all through my life for the things they didn't do. And suddenly now, i could see and be grateful for all that they did to bring me up. While i complained not having the cycle that all my friends had, my parents was trying to make the ends meet. While i complained of not taking me out to a restaurant, they were ensuring my tummy was full with as much healthy food as possible. They made me what i am today. They never had the luxury of internet/phone/whatsaspp, to research on motherhood or vent their frustrations on support groups, yet they did an outstanding job of bringing their children. I now see their mantra was all along, simple living and simply loving me. Yet i questioned their love for me at many incidents, i found my answers to all the nagging questions and insecurities i had. Thank you baby for making me understand my parents better.
I was never the one who would made friends easily, but in the process of trying to teach the child social behavior i have had more conversations and made more friends than in my entire life. The more i interact the more i realize the importance of community upbringing. The child is shaped up into a responsible person, not just by the parents, but also the entire community. Once the trust is established, you have a neighbor keeping an eye on your child who's playing, while you prep the dinner. You have someone other than your immediate family to fall back on, during sickness.
I am more responsible towards society in general, than being a 3rd party critic. I realize, society is not some other entity, but its me, its US making the society. I no longer complain and sit back when i see my building's dustbin is massacred by stray dogs. I instead clean it up, find out the root cause and try to implement preventive measures. Again, by trying to set an example for my child to mirror, i realize that we owe a lot to give back to the society of which we've been complaining about all along.
I am learning to let go of my ego and be more adapting towards change. I realize, fighting is not winning always. Adjustments, for the right people for the right reasons do bring true harmony in life.
I appreciate the role of a teacher in shaping a child. I could see the importance of friends and relatives, who are there to help you in thick and thin and who we leave behind for our children once our time is up. i realize money is important, but not as much as memories.
For others, I may be holding your tiny fingers to keep you from falling, but the truth is, you give me strength to keep going.For all those countless prayers and then sleepless nights, its all been worth for I have you. I don’t know if I have made a better you, but you have definitely made me a better person.