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As a working mom, I often find myself desperately looking for that “me” time. And I have a long list of the things that I need to do – Finish the book that I started reading 3 months back, start reading the book that I just borrowed from the library, write a new blog post (finally I’m doing this!), meditate, do yoga (these last two are just not falling in place, with my laziness being my best friend L ), and the recent addition, learn how to play guitar; Sunny gifted me a guitar :) – time to brag!!!
This is just my list and I’m sure, each one of us has a list, whether a working mom or a working dad, whether a single, ambitious girl in the 20s or a single woman in 40s, a married man with no kids or a single dad with 3 kids. No matter where you are and what role you are playing, the fact is, each one of us has a list. And for me, like the most of us, the list just got buried in the pages of one of the old books, kept on the bookshelf in one corner. Some of us, at some time actually wrote down the list on a paper and some of us just have the list in the pages of our minds.
But the list is there.
And I have realized, that the list is an important piece of our individual life’s jigsaw puzzle. Unless we find it and do something about it, the gap will ever remain. Subconsciously or consciously, we will always remain aware of the gap and feel that something is missing. And many a times, this “feeling” of something missing is not very clear to us. Some of us clearly know about the list, but some of us have forgotten about the list and this “feeling” can take the form of expecting way too much from others (including spouse and children) and depending on someone else to make you happy and feel complete.
The reason the list exists, whether on paper or in our minds, is because it is a part of us. For me, all those things are what “I” want to do. They are an extension of my personality and my being. So unless I take out the time and take some action, I will always feel something missing. Also, there’s a reason why we have hobbies, why some people like reading and some like cooking, some like dancing and some like singing. They give a certain meaning to us, a feeling that cannot be achieved by acquiring endless material possessions. And that is why they are important. And being in 30s, is a perfect time to pursue hobbies, though it’s never too late or too early to start.
For me, I’ve always loved writing. I used to write in my oh so fancy diaries that I used to buy when I was a teenager and when I started working. But as the years passed by, and I got trapped in the adult life, my writing took a backseat. But I always kept telling my husband, my then boyfriend, how much I wanted to write. He pushed me to start a blog, which I finally did and woah!!!! At some level, I did feel that one piece of my jigsaw puzzle fell into place (though I still have to write more frequently!)
But the point is, now I feel a little more alive, a little more joyful, a little more cheerful :) cos this is something that I’m doing completely for myself. It might sound selfish, but it is actually the way to become more loving, more caring. ‘Cos when we have joy within, then only we can spread it outside.
We can easily spend all our time taking care of our children, our partners, our parents, our house, etc. We do feel good or contented that we’re not thinking about ourselves and doing everything for others, but at some level, we know that we’re ignoring ourselves, subconsciously or consciously. We easily make us take the backseat and put others before us and for women, it is so common. But just like the way air hostesses tell us to put the oxygen mask on ourselves first, and then help the person sitting next to you, we certainly have to take care of us and put our jigsaw puzzle in place first, before taking care of others.
I found a gap in my puzzle and am filling it. And I’m happy :)