Is something wrong with me? I am confused about being Mother!!
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|   Feb 02, 2017
Is something wrong with me? I am confused about being Mother!!

Motherhood is the biggest gamble in the world. It is the glorious life force. It’s huge and scary—it’s an act of infinite optimism. – Gilda Radner.

I got married two years back, since that time I was very confused about whether I want a child or not. My friends used to be very sure of their plans regarding family planning. Sometimes I used to feel as if there is some problem with me. I use to communicate with my elders, people who had got married before me and have children's, I used to ask them how they realized that "Right moment". After one year of my marriage, people started asking about my family plans and all aashirwads turned towards one common goal “dudho nahao, phooto phalo”.

In this whole phase of confusion and self-doubt, my husband was really very supportive. He gave me commitment that until I feel like being mother, he will never push me and I am really thankful to him for this. It’s not that I don’t like children but whenever I use to think about having one, various fears used to popup in my mind, few of them were as follow;

  • Biggest of all was, financial worries. We both are working partners, we share our financials to run our life smoothly; sacrificing my job will surely need a cut on our luxuries. I get frightened on the thought that being a mother wouldn't allow me to work. no doubt, there are woman who are very well managing work and personal life, but I think I am not among those so very active list, I can’t do so many multitask together. Therefore, cost of raising the child and my own personal expense were at the top list.
  • Another is sacrificing my present care free life. I always read and hear from people, “maa banogi tab sab bachpanaa chala jayega”; it means being pregnant will take away my freedom, which I am not mentally prepared to give.
  • Fear of not being enough responsible. There at so many ladies out there who have set superb examples of being super mum and women, they manage so many tasks together. But people need to understand that every individual is different and stop comparing them. This unknown comparison creates distress whether I will be able to give that due care required by a child or not.

What do you think friends? Did any of you felt the same way as I have felt in my past? Or you were sure about kid’s planning or like me in a middle of decision? How did you realize that you are sure you want children?

 

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