Fair and lovely!!
|   May 31, 2016
Fair and lovely!!

It took me a long time to get back to pen and paper this time. Socializing does not help much to those who need to gather thoughts. But at times, socializing does trigger new thoughts.
Over-dose or under-doze of everything is bad...be it medicine, food, or people.

So the other day, I was trying to find some peace by watching television with little success. I was just pressing the "Next channel" button...pressing buttons gives more peace than watching something worthwhile.
Tired of not finding anything to watch, I settled on some channel that was playing an advertisement of a fairness cream for girls. The dialogues were something like, "While searching for a marriage alliance, everyone wants the guy to be nice, have a great job etc.. but why don't we want the girl also to have a carreer etc. before marriage. So come and use the cream, and get scholarships..blah blah".
I was intrigued by the complete campaign of fairness and combining it with carrier and marriage. The advertisement is surely a hit as the fairest actress of film industry asks the viewers to use the cream and also promises returns like a carreer and confidence.

A lot of incidents flashed in my mind which my friends and family had shared with me about fair, not so fair and dark complexioned people.
I remember some old ladies in the family discussing about a "not so fair" girl. Her dusky complexion was the topic of the family and probably the most irritating topic for her. No-one used to look beyond her dusky complexion. The girl was not good enough because she wasn't fair enough (in color and not in behavior). Everybody was worried about the problems she would face to get a good alliance in marriage.

 Similarly, when I was in college, a very "fair" friend used to tell about her younger sister who was one degree less fairer. The younger one was ready to drink 4 glasses of milk everyday to become as fair as her sister.

Another incident, when an elder sister (who was dark) was worried about the lost confidence of her younger sister (who was darker) because the entire family used to comment about the younger one's complexion.

I am a good enough example. I always used to tease my mom that she did not eat enough cashews when she was expecting me than when she was expecting my brother. Just as a note, my brother is higher version of fair complexion than me. Today I understand, that any number of cashews would not have made any difference !
I have also heard from a lot of parents who want their son's to get married to a "fair and beautiful" girl...haven't you heard this statement, "ladki gori aur sundar honi chaiye"...just to add on.."chahe usse bolna na ata ho". Last one was my thought!!

I remember a very funny incident...I was attending a family function. All the girls were dressed at their best, when some random lady came to meet my mom. My mom, introduced me and a cousin (who is very fair). I still remember the look in those eyes when they saw my cousin. I was just discarded! I could not help but smile. For me, the action of getting ignored, was funny and not important. But such incidents can really shatter a person's confidence when they are declared or assumed "less important" only because of the color of their skin.

I fail to understand that what is everyone going to do with all the fairness in the world? Fair skin does not help in dark, because it does not radiate light. So any amount of fairness will still not resolve the problem of power-cuts.
Fairness is due the less melanin pigment and the possibility of extracting the pigment from a fair skinned person is much lesser than from a dark skinned person, if that was the reason of preference towards fair skin. Its a scary thought though. But technically, dark skinned people are more beneficial!

So is it just a feel good factor? Or a matter of pride? And if it is a matter of pride, then why?
Why is fair always good (by default) ? We complain against the non-Indians or rather "Gore log" about the color discrimination towards Indians. But are we not doing the same in our daily lives?
The only difference is that our discrimination is mostly for girls. Sometimes, even guys are not spared.
No-one else but we are responsible for the low self-esteem of most of the people around us. Some are strong enough to hold themselves up but most succumb to the comments and biased behavior.

I am really not sure how to end this topic...there can not be a conclusion.
Only a hope that people would not just seek for fair & lovely looks but also a fair & lovely heart.

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