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Its women’s day and I have finally penned down my thoughts about “Women in Me”. I took so long, not because I didn’t have words to put on paper, neither because I didn’t have a topic in mind but because my words in this article are going to be quite outrageous, even offensive for some people. However, if I don’t write it now, then I will probably never have the courage to write. I have tried my best to use not-so-offensive words(offensive for some and normal for others) since this blog might be read by people from varying backgrounds.
The title I chose itself might be shocking for a few, but that’s what I feel and have accepted about myself long ago. Over the years, I have learnt to understand my limitations, physical or mental, and I personally feel that once we accept our weaknesses then we can handle them better. Only then we can improve or overcome those weaknesses.
So, as kids, my brother and I used to have lots of pillow fights and he being elder and stronger always used to win and I used to cry in the end. I always thought that he was bigger and so he was stronger.
But then, I realized that I would even lose fights against my cousin brother, who was my age, even some days younger to me. I would fight with all my strength but still lose. Over the time I accepted, (I want to emphasize here that no-body ever told me), that I was weaker. Girls are weaker. There are exceptions, some girls are stronger and I really feel that they are lucky, but on an average most of us are the weaker sex.
I realized that getting into fights was not a good option and as you grow, you also understand that brothers and cousins are more fun when played together than when fought with.
So today, I dedicate this article to the weaker sex, but also the prettier and more beautiful sex.
Moving on, transition from a small girl to a teenage girl brought a lot of physical changes in my body (happens to every girl). When I looked in the mirror, I felt more beautiful, the same mirror and same dresses made me look smarter, I was not ashamed of the changes in my body, I was confident. I somehow felt complete.
My confidence however was soon diminished, I was always reminded that I was growing up and I should be careful, I should not wear revealing clothes, buying lingerie was a hush hush affair. Anything transparent, led to curious eyes.
Sometimes it was too much and I would think, “Oh god, is it too much to handle? Every girl grows and developments happen, its biological, every girl has a cleavage…so why is it such a huge taboo still in our society?” Why can’t men just handle the sight of a cleavage? Why do “some” men can’t keep their hands off, from girls ! I think most of the girls have gone through such mishaps, I consider myself lucky to have escaped till now, and I dread the moment !!
Why do we inform our girl-friends in sign language, if the their strap is coming out? Why do we lower our voices, when we talk about the saree-blouses? Whereas men flaunt their vests on television ! There are so many “Why”s that I want an answer for!.
However, growing up as a girl in our society, puts a lot of pressure on you, to keep your assets hidden!! Yes, “assets”, and I mean it. When our kids are born, our assets provide them the first nutrition. More than feeding, I used to love it when my son would just fall asleep on my chest, something he would never do with his dad.
I agree that showing off your assets (whether male or female) is a quite awkward and I would sure not suggest anyone to do that. But spending your whole life to just keep yourself hidden is so irritating.
All I want to say is that girls are much more than just our body. Even if we forget all the other great things that women are capable of doing, we are still THE COMPANION that men look for. So why categorize us, based, only on our body structure and not on the other qualities that we possess like strong heart, compassion, dedication etc.?
Recently I visited a place where I felt so comfortable about my own body. I didn’t have to think about hiding myself all the time, because no one was bothered or at least I felt so. I could wear anything, transparent or not, sleeveless or full sleeves, short or long, it just didn’t matter. As a girl, I felt free, free of all that pressure that I was living in from all these years. I realized that even though I was weak, I really didn’t need to hide or save myself. Weaker sex was actually stronger and confident there. So was I, more confident about myself, much more than I had ever been.
Returning from that place was so tough, as it meant locking away all that freedom and confidence. Hangover of the freedom remains, and so does the frustration. And it makes our lives so miserable.
I wish, that, as I truthfully accepted that I am weaker, the members of the other gender would also accept that I am more beautiful and complete as a girl, with whatever body I have. I really don’t need those curious, dis-comforting looks. I know my body well enough and you don’t need to remind me of my body parts by staring at them, I am happy in-myself, just don’t bother me.
And in the end, the Women in Me or rather the Girl in Me, if given all the possible choices, like, equal education as boys, success, promotions, blissful marriage, perfect husband, adorable kids, perfect mother in law, perfect figure, ideal weight or BMI, I would still want to "just" grow up again as a weak but a free girl.
PS. For men reading this blog, I am not generically talking about all men in general here, but even you would accept that there are some men who do and act exactly as mentioned in this blog. And this article is also dedicated to them (pun intended)!