My pregnancy was all about delivering a boy
|   Jul 21, 2016
My pregnancy was all about delivering a boy

    I was always told to be happy and didn't look dull and enjoy. I felt like I was doing something wrong by being upset or scared about my pregnancy. All said "be happy" "enjoy" but no one asked why it was so hard for me. My pregnancy was like being a different person in different world together. I was showered with immense importance and loved endlessly, but at the end of the day, I was always reminded it was for the boy child that I was going to give them. I was important and loved in exchange of the boy child they expected. But what if it's a girl? I was scared and angry at same time. I love myself and I am a woman. I live in a country where being a Mother is the most honored job but ironically not a mother of a son...... My voice was never heard and are silenced by you will only have a son child. I went into complete depression and severe anxiety. I was pampered not only by my in-laws but by my husband also. I was gifted always because of the son to whom I will give birth. And i used to think these all are only for a boy/ a son. What will happen if a girl is born, will they kill her, will they kill me, will they do anything brutal???? But at last I gave birth to a girl. I am very happy that I have her but still it pains that when she was born a tear rolled down suddenly. Some eye not in happiness but in sadness. I went into depression stage and had lost self esteem , all negative thoughts run in my mind. And all these had an impact on my baby girl. She was born weak. Though my husband , my in-laws are not happy. But ,I am very happy seeing her cute face and I am sorry my baby for my stress you'r born weak.

    Remember you can hide your physical scars but mental scars speak out loud.

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