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I know the topic itself is quite interesting this time. We all talk about kids, mother in law, parents, husbands’ blah blah. Let’s get to the root (cause) of all these saplings....Marriage! In India it’s one of the biggest & sought after social event, not only for a bride or groom but also for their parents.
Indian parents are more concerned about kid’s marriage than education is the fact. Things are improving gradually but marriage is still a concealed goal for many.
Irrespective of types of marriages exists on the earth, for us only LOVE & Arrange marriage occurs!
Being Marwari, I too enjoy it flatteringly. Off course mine is Love marriage & you are free to imagine & add whatever DRAMA you could remember from your favorite Bollywood masala movie to it...pls make sure its love story & not "Hate Story( part 1,2 & 3) " ;)
Love marriages often becomes talk of the town. Love is beautiful & delicate emotion but we always end up mixing it with SEX & Gayi bhais pani me ! Whatever characters I will mention hereafters are real & do exist somewhere on this beautiful earth!
Finally we got married!!! Hushhhhh!! Come on…come back, It’s not like “And they lived happily ever after “…It’s good for Bollywood movies only .Real struggles start afterwards.
What triggered me to write up something on the subject which is so common for an Indian audience? Let’s come to the point .I received one fwd message on WhatsApp few weeks back. Since it was in Marwari I avoided to paste it here but will definitely decode it here for you all. Message seems to be from a father to his son who decides to marry a girl of his choice …Yes, LOVE MARRIAGE! It reads, “Don’t even think of Love marriage. The girl who’s too insensitive to think about her parent’s reputation won’t be a good wife, mother & so on. How she will handle family, respect elders & mostly importantly how she will be yours when she couldn’t be of her parents? O beta, be wise & go ahead with an arrange marriage. She will take “Ghunghat” to respect us & won’t go out of your words “…WTF!!
Even though it was just an fwd I felt snubbed. Some silly questions floated through my mind. Why Love marriages are not respectable? What if an arrange marriage is not successful? What if the girl chosen by boy’s family refuse to be part of joint family (I think it’s quite normal & not a SIN btw)? Love marriage decisions are mutual so why only girls are blamed for that particular step & go though some really stupid situations throughout their life? Why boys are not blamed? …..& list continues. I am absolutely not against an arrange marriage & have witnessed many beautiful/perfect couples born out of it. Marriage is a Marriage, be it love or arrange, and all it needs is Love & trust …..Yeah yeah Money too!!!
We are too judgmental about love marriage. I do not hate arrange marriage then why someone who opted for an arrange one should hate ours? After all its personal choice. “Arrange marriage: An initiative to settle boys & girls who couldn’t find their perfect match as they are contingent on their parents to take such a most important decision of their life!” Sounds rude right? Now you got the thread! This is exactly how it feels!
I agree & witnessed side effects of love marriage but would like to know which marriage doesn’t have it? Challenges & adjustments are everywhere, be it love or arrange, and it’s just that scenarios are different. I frankly don’t know about an arrange one but in love we actually started with zero. No family support till date. Our kids too are facing side effects of the same but we are OK .I am not complaining but this is the fact which everyone avoids to talk about.
. In India, Parenting it more of give & take relationship. Love marriage is not less than an adventure trip where we not only have all the uncertainty of an (arrange) marriage but the family non-cooperation movement is bonus! We should respect each other’s personal choice & if we are not good at that at least keep our mouth shut & if that’s too difficult refrain from fwding such negativity around. Someone told me you will get to know the pain of love marriage when your daughter will decide to do the same. Ok, Cool. I am ok & would love her to be such an independent individual. If I will find something evil (not only marriage but for any of her life decisions) as a parent, it’s my responsibly to alert her & convey the consequences of the same. I cannot force my thoughts to be hers. Ultimately it’s her life. If she will be happy, we too will be happy with her. If she will have any problems, We will support her to get out of it rather than blaming her for her bad choices….After all we too learnt life like this, don’t we ?
Just to close it on a lighter note “Love or Arrange, after 2 yrs its just a MARRIAGE! ;)”