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‘ jag mujh par lagaye pabandi , main hun hi nahi iss duniya ki’.
Yes, exactly I felt so.
We all love Holi because of its colourful nature. Holi tells us how to live your life with the colours of life (joy, happiness, sorrow, sadness, pain ). I love Holi for the beautiful colours of love, joy, happiness and togetherness it adds to one's life.
Hurray…..I was so excited and so ready to mingle this morning, though feeling little lethargic because of late night sleep. Me and my Son we both are the Caterpillars in our family who wanted to come out of its embryo to live the life of a butterfly. Rest are like ohm! ...chill it’s just another festival of another year. And obviously if I am saying others, it includes my hubby too.
Every year I used to look up to my husband, for that, might be this year he would involve himself into the festivities. Might be he would love to celebrate and enjoy. Might be this time he'll play Holi with me with enjoyment and passion. Might be this time he would dance with me on the beats of a surround sound. And, this year, today was the sequel of same expectations.
But, then I thought ….why the hell I am depending on him so much. Okk….there's his life and here's my life. We two are two different individuals. We are the owners of two different personalities. I love to enjoy, I love to laugh aloud, I love to explore, I love to be social….and he loves to stay on the other side. It's ok if he has some different interests. I had taken the pledge with you people not to judge others. And those others include everyone, my husband too. So it helped me to relieve and come out of my expectations scenario. Remember #StopJudging.
My son is a grown up teenager now so, he loves to be with his own friends and company. So, I went on with my happiness, my joy, and my excitements and with my company.
Ahhh! What energy I received as soon as I reached the spot where all the people gathered together to celebrate their joy. Society functions …..Enjoyment, meeting old as well as some new face and the best part is you don't have to worry about whether I know them. My friend came near to me asking why I was so late, and I felt like a special person because immediately I was caught up by my friends and they started putting colors. And then when they left me I was all in colors of love.
Then came my favourite moment, we all started towards Dance floor. That was the best part I love about Holi. Colors, friends and music…. what an amazing combination. Music and dancing is what makes me go weak knees. I love dancing….. I am not a trained dancer, but I am not a bathroom dancer. (Laughs)As soon as I hit the dance floor I was like I was sloshed. I was dancing like nobody is watching. I was dancing like I was the only one happy there. I was dancing like I was the one who is so carefree. I was dancing like this is the only day I am getting the chance to enjoy myself.
And yes, at some point I felt like people are looking at me with gestures....who she is; and some with the appreciations in their smiles. But I was in a state of who cares. And I keep on giving rhythm to my feet’s and my not so thin waist. (Laugh) I felt so happy from inside. I was feeling like something had carried away all my worries and excuses. I loved being the women I was at that time. For almost three hours I danced, danced and danced.
I think this is called maturity. You start understanding life. You start enjoying life. You start loving yourself. Today I learnt that enjoy your own company instead of someone make you happy. And to this I decided something on my life and its future features that I will not sit around feeling sorry for myself, nor let people mistreat me. It's my life and I will not allow others to be its dictator. I will live my life for the sake of my own happiness and spirituality. My family is my companion but, this doesn't mean that for my companions I let go my life. I love myself today for the spirit I lived.