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Little Aarohi, cute, chubby, chirpy, and witty, 4yr old daughter my neighbours living next door. Her parents are both working in MNCs. She lives with her grandparents, who takes cares of her when her parents are out for a job. Aarohi is endearing to everyone in the neighbourhood. She goes to play school. And it is her routine to come to see me every day after coming from school. Awww.... I am totally in love with her. And she too reciprocates in her sweet voice " I laaaabbbb youuuuuu too anty". Yes, anty! Much love for this. My son and my husband also love to giggle and mingle with her. Sometimes she comes and stays for hours and that time I totally lost myself in her sweet naughty talk. She talks about her school, her parents, grandparents ( dada dadi, nana nani) her friends. Her boyfriend in fact. Hahaha, she calls him her boyfriend, Aarav, her classmates. She talks a lot and I like her innocence.
Yesterday, as usual, she was sitting near to me but she was not at her usual sense. I asked her “Why my baby is so quiet today?" and what she told me laid me into thinking. She said, "Anty why always dadi(parental grandmother) asks me the same question?" Which question baby, I asked. “Anty she asked me daily that who do I like/love most Mamma or Papa? Sometimes she asks dadi or nani(maternal grandmother). Dadu too asks the same question." I was stunned. I continued my gaze and attention. “Today again they asked. Auuurrr mujhe gussaa aaya baaada saaara. Maine joool se bola mein kisi ko pyaallll nahi karti hun( I got angry and then I screamed aloud and said I don't love anybody)" and she started crying.
Ohhh! My poor baby. I felt bad for her. I tried to soothe her. I gave her favourite chocolate and she retorts with a kiss. Her love to me is precious. Yes may be for her grandparents too but in process of loving our kids, we overlook the truth. We are hurting them somewhere with our egocentric thoughts and talks. Children only understand love and show their fondness who reciprocates it like them, unconditional.
I always try to comprehend the sense of this question. I recall that same question had been asked to me so many time even in my teen. And the same issue approached my son too. People ask him who do he loves most. And yes, in the light of truth, this question is mostly asked by our grandparents or our uncles and aunts. Irrespective of paternal or maternal. Parents are equally beloved by kids. Our ways to love someone may vary but love and emotions remain same. There was the time when my mother-in-law asks the same question to my son. And when he answers 'mamma' her expression was like, hell! And when he replies 'papa' she had that broad smile on her face and lots of blessings for him. Pathetic. My brothers too asked the same. But there he behaves smart. If he wants something and who agrees to give him the desired thing, his love for him then. As the time passes, he is a grown up kid now, he got the sense of answering. Now he has the answer “I love both. I love all". Hmm…maturity!
I agree that giving and receiving love from children is something peerless. But does it really matters to know who they love most? Even for a mother, all her children are equal, but still, comes a distant question “Mamma who do you love most?" Sometimes kids do say you know papa loves my sister most or mamma loves my younger brother most. But do they really mean it? No. And moreover, they are tots, who behave as their innocence says. But being sensible, why do we try to kill their innocence? Respect their love for whoever it is for. Do not impose your thinking on them. They will definitely convey their love to you if it is altruistic.
" NEVER PUT YOUR CHILD IN A PLACE TO WHERE THEY HAVE TO PICK WHICH PARENT THEY LOVE"