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Actions spring out of what we fundamentally desire and the best piece of advice for would –be persuaders (PARENTS in this context) whether at home , at work or in social circles remains : “ FIRST AROUSE IN OTHER PERSON AN EAGER WANT. HE WHO CAN DO THIS HAS THE WHOLE WORLD WITH HIM.HE WHO CANNOT WALKS A LONELY WAY.” – Harry. A . Overstreet in Illuminating Human Behaviour.
1. In my experience , Going by the above adage ... the only way to ensure that your kids toe the line is by being reasonable and in touch with some common sense. Consider what is in their for our young ones and letting them know the positive fall outs of it is a sure shot way forward.
2. Being ecological in your demands and expectations of your kids has never gone wrong. Ecology implies that what you wish for, should have everyone’s interests and a win-win proposition in place. For example how sticking to schedule would benefit them in growth , learning and performance in studies and overall development and also would be a source of sanity and ample free time to attend to other things craving for your attention.
3. Giving orders / sermons / Do not argue types statements are bound to have an antagonistic effect on the kids and their listening to your well meaning preaching. Instead try to give options / choices a preference and keep the channels of synergy , communication and compliance open. This makes them feel that he is party to the decision making and not merely complying under threat or compulsion.
4. Accept the fact that given the kind of exposure , today’s kids are a leader’s mindset. Let’s be mindful of the gap that exists today as we were particularly a follower’s mindset. This will keep your demands from your kids in a balanced perspective. It will help them develop critical thinking and discussion temperament as the modern day skills.
5. Kid’s map of things , situations , and people is pretty small and thus quite intense. So getting them to do what you want might involve loads of shifting gears and discussions. Let’s get into the process of adopting varied perception by stepping into their shoes or better still by being a fly on the wall to view their resistance from a dissociated viewpoint. Believe me It will give you an unbiased overview of the situation and promote greater empathy for your kids. Needless to say , once this is practised there’s no stopping form here for your kids to comply with what you desire.
6. One important aspect to remember whether we deal with kids or adults is as to how what you want is going to be beneficial for them and would be of help in the long run. They are so in love with themselves and with the pay-offs of their little / habitual (at times mindless) reflexes that by simply knowing what is in it for them is often their primary focus in doing what you want them to do.
7. Using Influence or Strategy is much more a workable solution while manipulation / tactics / tricks are only having feet of sand. Tricks remain a dirty word. You may trick your kids a couple of times into doing what you want but at the expense of loosing your long term credibility! Big price –whoa!!
8. Finally , asking yourself “ How can I make my child to do it? “ This simple exercise will let lose the reins of your subconscious mind to more influence based ways for the same. I twill unleash ways to create the “Eager Want “in your child and the magic would never cease to exist.