Disclaimer: Early years of marriage is tough phase for both husband and wife. Primarily for wife as she has to adjust herself to her new home, new members in her life, new routine and new responsibilities. Until marriage she is a carefree bird living on her own terms, dreaming about her future with her prince charming. After marriage, she is jolted down by harsh reality of life which is not at all close to her dreams. And she starts feeling infuriated, disrupted, sometimes cheated by life.
However as time passes, she realises life has not cheated her. In reality she has now embarked on new beautiful journey that involves marriage and eventually motherhood. In this journey, if she is supported duly by her husband then all the hardship, compromises, sacrifices appear worthy. Not so prince of her dreams becomes dotting husband and loving father to her kids. And together they live happily with each other’s support. This is a true story of one such girl who fancied living a happy life.
And the story begins:
Every girl wants to marry her prince charming. And Meeta was no different. She always wanted to marry a person who would be very romantic. She loved surprises and always thought her future husband would surprise her with gifts, flowers, romantic candle light dinner etc etc. Hmm!! you guessed it right; she has been huge fan of romantic bollywood movies and was too much under illusion. For her, romance meant expressing love with gifts, flowers and listening to romantic hindi duets.
When she married her husband, she realised he is exactly opposite. Before marriage, they met many times. She really liked him as she found him very caring and a responsible person. He was shy by nature and didn’t talk much. In the beginning, she attributed these qualities of him as romantic. Meeta thought as he is shy, he doesn’t express himself and with time he will change and will become more expressive. Still sometimes he surprised her with his caring and endearing nature. When you love someone, you try to visualise and understand everything the way you want to. You see rightness in faults too.
However as time passes, you start seeing faults in rightness too. That’s what exactly happened with Meeta in early years of marriage. Earlier when he asked her to choose her own gifts, she believed him to be liberal and respectful of her choices. Later, it changed to be ignorant of her likes and dislikes. She always knew he is reserved by nature, but still fought with him for not being expressive and romantic. She always knew he is very close to his mother, but still fought with him for loving his mother more than her. He always helped her with household chores but she still fought with him for not being supportive. Many times they came to the verge of drifting apart although he never let her go.
Things started changing for good after her first pregnancy. He took perfect care of her. He never missed any doctor’s appointment; he was always beside her during those pre-natal classes. He made sure she takes all the medicines on time and don’t stress herself over small issues. Her definition of romanticism was changing.
When Meeta used to work for long hours, he used to take care of their daughter. When Meeta decided to quit her job and become stay at home mom for their daughter, he was there to support her. Its not easy for a working woman to give up her financial independence. Staying at home can become very frustrating at times. During those crucial times, you need someone with whom you can discuss your frustration, your insecurities. Meeta used to take out her frustration on her husband. He ignored it and patiently heard her out. If she was too harsh with their daughter because of her annoyance, he reprimanded her. His supportive nature is now part of her definition of romanticism.
She is seeing him becoming a wonderful father to their daughter. After coming from office, he plays with her all the girly games of dolls without complaining. He plays with her like a friend; he fights with her like a sibling; he pampers his princess like a king. Whenever Meeta sees them together playing, fighting, laughing, she cannot take her eyes off. That is the most beautiful sight for her; she cannot stop admiring him for being an adorable father. And that is now getting added to her definition of romanticism.
She is grateful to him for always being supportive of her decisions, for taking her side against others when she is right, for rebuking her honestly when she is wrong and unjust, for being her biggest critic and strongest support system.
No, things haven’t changed dramatically and he has not definitely become the ideal husband of her dreams. She continues to fight with him for not surprising her with gifts, for being partial to her as compared to his mother. However these fights don’t drift them apart anymore. Now they shrug them off with a hearty laugh. They have learnt to accept each other’s mistakes. They have found each other’s strengths and that is helping them to strengthen their marriage.
And the story continues..
Note: If you are going through rough phase in your life, just be positive and keep faith in each other. Everything else will fall in place like it did for Meeta.