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Stay-at -home mom or a working mom has always been a topic of debate. But while discussing, people tend to forget that in both the cases, the lady we are discussing is a mom at first place. Depending on each one's priority, needs, thought process, financial conditions and off-course, family background, she has to decide either way. Either a mom takes a hard decision to continue working, leaving behind her heart at home for hours. If not so, she takes even harder decision, to leave behind her dreams and be with her baby. Any of the sacrifices made are not easy, in both the cases, loss is to be incurred by her. So, she is to be praised for taking her decision and then standing firm on that.
Extremely competitive world, raising expenses, career oriented people, highly qualified circle of friends, high paying job, her aspirations, her dreams and so many other things suddenly fade away from her mind as soon as she holds her tiny "baby" in her hands for the first time. Someone who has always thought of herself, has worked hard to gain success, has made her place in her field, has lived a financially independent life and can see her career graph rising… suddenly starts thinking very differently!! More emotionally than practically when she turns into a mother….
It is extremely tough to make this decision, both mentally and emotionally. To add to her trouble, there are people all around, throwing in their suggestions and inputs based on their experiences, thoughts, mind set and priorities in their life. But then it’s she who has to make this final decision because no one else can ever think or feel the way she feels that moment. How much her baby needs her or how well can the baby adjust without her is something that only she knows. And her struggle does not end here!!
If she decides to stay back and take care of her baby, she is continuously questioned. What do you do at home? Are you not working? Isn’t it too old fashioned to stay back and take care of house hold? Are you a house wife? How do you feel at home whole day? Don’t you get bored? Suddenly people start taking her for granted. You are at home, you are free, you can easily manage things. They forget, she is at home that doesn’t mean she is free. She is a mother and that itself includes uncountable roles she plays every day. Why does she owe an explanation to anyone for not being in the workforce or about her plans to join back in future? Her baby needs her and she had guts to compromise with her career for the sake of her baby. No one in the world has to do anything with her decision. There are times when she herself has those thoughts of joining back or a fight between her mind and heart over going back to work. Peer pressure might be keeping her mind busy when she is alone. So, instead of questioning and making her feel out of the place, we must make such moms’ feel more comfortable and accepted. She has sacrificed for her baby and we must be proud of her decision!! My salute to all such moms who have the courage to take that decision instead of all odds around them.
The story is no different for a working mom either!! If a woman decides to join back post-delivery, there are another set of questions which she has to face and answer everyday!! People call her career oriented, selfish and irresponsible. Questions like: “Where do you keep your baby? At this age your baby needs you, you could have got a job later. Why don’t you give this time to your baby. Baby needs mom most, that is more important. Day care or full time maid isn’t safe, you should stay with the baby. These days mothers do not want to take their babies responsibility. Look at her poor parents and in-laws, at this age they are taking care of her kids.” are very common for a working mom. A part of her heart breaks down when she hears such comments. Does anyone ever think of her struggle? Of what she goes through everyday? Everyday her heart aches while she waves bye to her baby. Everyday she tries to leave early from office for her baby and her colleagues give her that awful look. Every moment she keeps thinking of what her baby might be doing. When her baby is ill, she is the one who is most disturbed, even if she can’t stay back at home. Several times she rethinks over her decision of continuing with the job. She keeps juggling between her career and household while trying to do justice to her new role. Although she is not with her dear one 24x7 but that doesn’t make her a lesser mom either. Hats off to all such moms who never give up whatever the conditions be.
So next time you see a mom, whether working or not, be more empathetic before giving any suggestions or comments!!