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I was woken up with the most dreadful call any Indian woman can wake up to, my domestic help called in to inform that she won’t be coming to work today. This is like the biggest night or rather biggest Daymare of any woman who is dependent on house help. As I wiped out tears from my eyes (yeah I am Amplifying!!, but nevertheless I was on the verge of crying, imaging the pile of work ahead of me), I got up. The first battle field I needed to conquer was the kitchen.
As I was paving my way through the umpteen tasks ahead of me, this thought just crossed my mind. My husband was snoring away to glory. And it irked me, I could not comprehend why he got to sleep while I was slogging here in the kitchen. And then thoughts kept pouring in, one after the other, perhaps he is tired from work, (Hello I work too in an office), perhaps he does not know how to do the household chores (Aahhha!!, I was born working in the kitchen, is it?), perhaps because he has much better things to do in life (Well this one I can scream loud about, I have much better things to do in life than he does), Ahhh now I realize it is not any of the reasons mentioned above, it is because he has a Chromosome ‘Y’ in him, that too in India. In simple words he is a MAN born in INDIA.
You must realize that this very thought had piqued my annoyance to uncontrollable levels, this could not be happening to me. You bring out this topic in public and trust you me, every elderly across India has the same opinion, ‘How can he do it, it’s a woman’s job’, Arghhhh. Like seriously, I was raised with the same amount of love and affection (probably even more). This is how we grow up in India, the other day a known had come over for a visit, she was looking for a suitable match for her daughter, she is a qualified doctor, and now her mother wants her to participate in household chores as this is what would make her an eligible bride. I could not help but gape at her in astonishment, why take so much pain to educate her then. Is it not unfair for the girl, she has to make a career for herself and learn to do the household chores too. And the boy spends his life in merriment.
I mean I understand that there may be many things which men can do that we don’t (let me think, well na my brain has stopped functioning to enumerate anything, unless it is something like getting off your shirt in public, or perhaps pee in public) but a little help hurt no one, right! It’s easy coming back from work and couching on the sofa on the laptop or phone, but come back from work and fret about preparing dinner or tomorrow’s lunch, or getting the laundry done, or getting the clothes back into the cupboard, grocery shopping, blah blah blah blah….
It is so much the upbringing that we give our sons that is to blame for all this, they are always kept away from helping in the household chores. My family was really anti of my husband cleaning my daughter’s poop, I mean why not, she is his daughter too. I objected and made him do it. There is no way he is getting away with it. When we say equality it should be at all levels right! I have fought my way to change my husband’s habits to make him participate.
I don’t want to sound like those ultra-feminist thingy (which I am sure I do sound like) but all I do care about is that men should learn how to do or at least help in household chores, mothers should be able inculcate this in their sons. I have a daughter and trust you me when she is getting married this would be one of the criteria for the groom to qualify! Someone would have to turn the tables, and I would be very happy to do so.
There could be two reasons perhaps either they don’t see what needs to be done, they live in a different reality, mess does not bother them, they have not seen their forefathers doing any of this hence they can’t imagine themselves doing it OR they don’t want to waste their time on what they think are petty issues. For example my husband thinks that if I give him a task, inadvertently I will complain about him not doing it properly then why should he waste time doing it in the first place (I really can’t blame him for that, I can be very picky at times).
I understand that it is unfair to paint everyone with the same brush but majority fall into the no home chores bucket! There are things that obviously my husband does better than me, he is the one who handles all the relationship management at home because I am the introvert kinds. All I am saying is that in today’s time when both partners are working it is imperative that both partners help each other in every aspect, home or elsewhere.
Well amid all this bragging and fretting I finished all the work and headed for office my husband was still snoring away to glory!!