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It took five minutes for the doctor to confirm that I was carrying twins. In the following three minutes as the husband was called in to see the images of two dots on the screen, we felt a myriad of emotions. The doctor later on handed us a book which read- What to Expect when you are Expecting and a friend gave me a Dr Spocks book- the bible for every parent.
We were not very worried. We knew people who would guide us through this complex journey of pregnancy however we had no real reference point for raising twins. And every time we said to people we were having twins, they wondered, 'how do you have twins? Tell me your secret.'
We could barely tell them, 'stop picturing us...there is nothing special we do for twins.'
The Internet became my best friend and I compiled my learning for myself as I went along, recording my journey meticulously.
When the twins came, the challenges doubled, pun intended. I made my own rules, some of them I list here and the rest are recorded in my book Double Trouble Double Fun!
1. Individuality- Never refer to them as a combination like the twins, the boys, the duo, the sisters. Always refer to them by their names.
2. First among Equals - Don’t follow the same order while referring to them nor designate one as older. Try to reverse the order as well.
3. Birthday Parties- Have individual cakes for each of them and insist on the birthday song being sung twice.
4. During rituals and ceremonies don’t always have the same fellow being attended to first.
5. When someone asks who is the smarter one or who is your favourite- never give a clear answer. Be non-committal
6. Don’t compare them in any aspect or say one is good and the other is being bad
7. Don’t promote rivalry. Some people give one toy to one of them and wait for the other to react by crying or snatching. But true that they often try to fight for the same piece after comparing two identical pieces. In that case, divert their attention
8. They are not parts of a whole but individuals as well.
9. Milestones- Do not fret as milestones may not be same for both.
10. Illness- when 1 gets the other will soon follow so precautions have to be appropriate. Sometimes we just let them fall ill together by the way. Simpler that way.
11. Guilt Factor- Sometimes I feel I have not paid attention to one of them the whole day may be if the other one is ill or cranky. I try not to feel guilty as I went by need of the child for that particular day.
About the Book Double Trouble Double Fun! A Supermom's Guide to Raising Twins
Welcome to the world of thinking-on-the-feet parenting. A world where questions are answered and answers are questioned, where one day segues into another without a warning sign and where intense exhaustion co-exists with blissful happiness- the true signs of parenting.
Double Trouble Double Fun is Riti Prasad’s hilarious, realistic and tell-all chronicle of raising twins during their early childhood. She delivers an irreverent insider’s account of parenting through a decade that has seen the best and the worst of parenting theories, the boom of internet moms, the battle between working and stay-at-home moms as well as other parenting after-shocks.
In her thought-provoking memoir, she questions accepted parenting norms and expectations, struggles to come to terms with the ever-expanding scope of motherhood and races against time to fulfil them.
Sifting through memories of her parenting tactics and theories, Riti delivers a power-packed punch of a book that negotiates through challenges of pregnancy and parenting, pearls of wisdom, nuggets of humour, screams of frustration, sighs of exasperation and tears of joy and disappointment in equal measures.
Written through the lens of a career-invested, borderline-workaholic and delegation-savvy mom, this book shares a parenting journey navigating through poopy diapers, potty training, balanced diets, tiring holidays, PTA meetings, workplace triumphs and disappointments.