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We are ‘one of its kind parents’ who doesn’t like to put pressures on our children. We trust in our upbringing. We know that we have made them responsible enough to think about their future, make decisions and then take the ownership of their decision. We are believer of the philosophy ‘live and let live’. Though, our family and friends are suspicious of our parenting skills. They think that either we are pretending to be cool parents or we lie about our modus operandi or our kids are born with intelligent genes so they don’t’ need guidance and reminders. My children friends love to remind them after every examinations that “your parent doesn’t love you, so they are not bothered about your marks.”
It happened yesterday when my neighbour knocked my door. “Leena, can you ask your husband to counsel my son. He is saying that marks are not important. It is the skills that he should develop to be successful in life. I am so scared. He has become insane and is not listening to us. Now you only tell me what he will do if he doesn’t score well. What will he do with skills if he doesn’t get good marks?”
My husband is a professor in an engineering institute and my neighbour’s son is an engineering student. I must tell you that her son has done well in his first semester engineering exams and will do good in future also. Above all he is the first engineering student I have heard of who is taking tuitions.
“He is right. Even my husband will suggest the same. He is not in 10th or 12th where he has to really get a high score in order to get admissions and for you to flaunt in social networking sites. He is 19, a grown up child or should I say a young adult now. Allow him to take his own decisions. If he thinks that he should develop skills instead of just mugging up text books, let him do. Even if you think he is wrong, let him do mistakes. He will learn from it also.” I suggested.
She gave me a blank look for a few seconds. Then she played her trump card. “This you are saying because your son is in IIT and mine is in a local engineering college. If you don’t want your husband to counsel him, say it frankly. I won’t ask for the favour again. But don’t tell me that a nineteen year old is big enough to take his decisions.”
Very calmly I responded. “I will say that. Yes a nineteen year old is big enough to take his life’s decision in the same way you decided to elope with your boyfriend and marry him against your family wish at the age of eighteen.”
Do I need to write more or you know what happened after it?