When does my child feel good?
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|   Oct 03, 2015
When does my child feel good?
Sometime back, I experienced “Inside out”.

Being a bachchu movie and more so as a freaking mother, I instinctively thought it had something to do with intestinal germs and bacterial monsters. A BIG “No”- I yelled as my children burst into impromptu giggles. Somehow they have this incomprehensible capability to make me feel as dictatorial as the Dalai Lama. My husband, supremely proud of his role as a giving, loving father, had bought the tickets online while (I was assuming) at work. Grinning widely, he announced “We are going for Inside Out tonight”! Between the cheers and the giggles, I heard myself gasping “not appropriate”, “too late“, “too much exposure”, “value system gone to pigeons” but to no avail.

In the car, prepping them up seemed like a good idea, so I asked Aanya to recite the Hanuman Chalisa to ward off any psycho somatic conditions post the movie. Somehow that eerily got mixed up with “Old McDonalds” and that was what we all ended up singing.

(Note to self: McDonalds. I am hungry now. I am always hungry.)
(Note to hubby: Meet me with a burger, stat.)


Back to the point: So , with two uncontrollably wala happy children, a baby bag for the babas , a cute couple made their way to the theater, gingerly hoping for a movie without any unprecedented bio breaks or rather bio runs. And of course, not be booed out by a merciless audience. (That happens, you know.) My glasses on and the bags and the babies and the popcorn on our laps, we were ready. (Note: We hide our colas from the children. We call this Healthy Living & Trauma Management. Please do not judge us.)

And then I waited apprehensively for the little monsters to come and eat up my psyche. Once the movie started, my girls forgot the popcorn, the burgers and the bald headed man up in the front. As for me, I was so taken up by the concept that I ended up teary eyed, clapping my hands wildly after every second soul stirring twist. “Shhh, stop it, you are embarrassing me“my husband hissed. I look at him and clapped again. Wildly. Wonder why we haven’t gone for any movie since then.

The movie touched chords in my brain-dead head I never knew existed. From that moment on, I started looking at my daughters differently. Sure, earlier they would freak out while being observed by their mom with hawk like eyes.  Now they are used to it. Though, it is a bit embarrassing when, in company, they shout “Ma, stare at us all voodoo crazy-like!”

I pretend not to hear.

The movie ended and I was happy and satiated from the spiritual experience I had had. Hungry again, we ambled to our favourite joint. “Felt like meditation” I exclaimed, all the while devouring pani puri (and  vehemently nodding my head for another round) with the fine motor skills of a South Indian eating rice on a lazy Sunday afternoon in the comfort of his house.

My hubby snorted.

“Aah, I see the Mindy in you”, I tittered in pure joy. When my hubby stared at me blankly, I yelled “Mindy, Mindy -DISGUST”. He looked at me blankly. Aah, Mindy is the name of the feeling – Disgust! He looked dazed.I can feel words and colours and sort of thought I saw Red and a big D in front of me. A couple we know called Deratis (I swear I am not making this surname up) got a Divorce recently. Wonder why the Hubby was thinking of the Deratis then.

This movie messed up my life. I started going bonkers, trying to read the fine print on everyone’s face. The constipated milk man, the grumpy newspaper wala and a grumpier car cleaner with a perpetual WHY on his chubby face- And all I could see was sadness or disgust or fear. The point is, wherever I looked it was easy to see the negativities of the world. But with children , it was quite the opposite . It was as if Joy is dying to come out (In the case of my younger one, Joy is ready to kill even!).

[Joy andSadness accidentally get sent to Long-Term Memory.]Sadness: Wait, Joy, you could get lost in there!Joy: Think positive!Sadness: Okay. I'm positive you will get lost in there!

A tickle on the chin, a pat on the head, a hand on the shoulder, making faces in the mirror together, running races even wherein he/she is sure to lose, speaking complete and utter nonsense and complete happiness pervades our life.
And, this is how children bring their share to the environment - They smile, dance and laugh.

As Dr. Ron Hubbard said-A child’s contribution equals his self –worth.
There will always be a natural imbalance as far as contribution is concerned. We adults will always be in a stronger position to give – material comforts, love, learning and comfort. Don’t let that weigh too heavily on the child. The sweetness and love of a child is preserved as long as he can exert his own self determinism (the innate Right to be). So, make them feel good for trying to make you feel good. 

To close, the creators originally wanted to have 27 emotions in the film, but dropped it down to 5 to make it less complicated. Imagine 27 such strong feelings. As our child’s core environment, it is our whole and sole duty to validate all these feelings our children go through and allow free expression, however crude or unacceptable they may seem (of course as long as they are not detrimental to others)

Wishing you joy in the upcoming week,

Shivangi

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