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Last night, I was fortunate enough to find myself awake while everyone at home was in deep sleep. It allowed me to have a much needed “ME TIME”. The silence is so blissful sometimes. It was so contending to see everyone and everything to rest at peace. It was the perfect time to meditate, I felt.
As I started my journey to reach to my inner-self, many thoughts started flowing in my mind and I gently let them pass away, to get deeper and deeper into meditative state. But then I get this awful thought which started disturbing me, "Am I making my kid feel that Mom is highly unpredictable?" Kind of a weird thought isn't it. But wait, I can’t let this pass away. I need to figure out this.
I looked back into past couple of days to get a further insight to this troubling thought,and I was horrified to know, yes, my behaviour would have certainly made my kid feel that way about me.
I realized, there are some days when I show lots of love to my son, I don’t lose my sanity when he throws tantrum, I handle situation so effectively and gently, When all those creative ideas will come to my mind from nowhere which helps me in successfully accomplishing the most herculean task of making him eat his meal.When I watch him playing and at times play with him.
But then, there are also some days, when I am too occupied with my worries, I am too tired and exhausted, when I am not able to hold on my temper and I scowl at him when he is not willing to eat. When my mind is wandering over the piled up bills and I am not listening to his talks intently. God knows, where those creative ideas of tackling situation as a good mother would disappear just when they are needed the most, leaving me with a sense of failure. And then I just want to bury my head and shed some tears.
I realized, how my kid would have felt abruptly, as to“ why, when the other day, I broke a cup, mom was gentle to me and today when I have just spilled over some milk , she is so much angry?” Poor little boy, I look at him with guilt and confession and ask him to forgive.
To let this never happen again, I vow to myself to follow some dos and donts in my daily life as a mother
1) To hug my boy at least 5 times a day.
2) Daily, ones at least look into his eyes and tell him Mumma loves you
3) Mindfully watch and hear his self talks while he is playing all by himself. It will give me an insight into his thought process.
4) Talk with him about God. How much God loves him and that he should never fear anyone when God is with him.
5) To talk and do something silly, that will make the little boy laugh out aloud
6) Share with him few things about my day with a hope that this would in turn make him share about his day with me (though till date he has never shared, but I will keep up the practice, I am sure one day he will feel like telling me how his day was)
7) Assign a task appropriate for him, to make him feel I trust him as a responsible boy.
8) Appreciate his efforts in accomplishing task given to him.
9) Bring to his notice, that he is a good boy but he behaves badly at times. And he should apologise for those mistakes. To tell him, that even Mommy too sometimes makes mistake, but having realised about it, she apologises.
10) To remind him that we all are given work, including birds, animals and GOD Himself, and we all should do our work sincerely. His work is to go to school, study and play.
1) Never ever, raise hand on him, holding collar is okay sometime only when needed.
2) Never nag him for his mistakes that he had done in past.
3) Never embarrass him by talking about his miss-behaviour with others.(Never at least in his presence). It is an insult to his self-respect I feel.
4) Do not use cell when he is around unless otherwise needed.
5) Do not watch serials before him other than the cartoons and kids show.
6) Never to use negative word for him, even the most casual words like, stupid, mad, fool, etc.
7) Not to act as a google for him and complete his statement that he is trying to frame. He might affirm to what I say, thinking mom knows better and I would never come to know what exactly he had in his mind.
8) To understand that he is throwing tantrums at times because he is not able to express himself with words.
9) Do not loose sanity when he is throwing tantrums.
10) Do not loose temper before him.
**Last two vows are difficult but I will try to keep them up:-)