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To 'agree to disagree' on some aspects rather than to 'disagree to agree' on most is a positive trait in any relationship.Parenting is no different.The dominant mentality is that partners who don't have negative interactions or disagreements are better parents. It is always not so.
Raising a child is like a joint venture,comprising of some moments of sheer bliss,happiness and its share of frustrations. When two people from diverse backgrounds,belief systems and perspectives unite for any undertaking there are bound to be different viewpoints and styles of functioning.But in this way, you get best of both the worlds.This is highly valuable in its own right!
A sense of healthy balance is achieved in the family structure when different styles of parenting complement each other.The resultant approach is more well-rounded and leads to comprehensive development of the child.Consider the scenario where one partner focuses more on physical growth aspects and other being equally concerned about the mental development of the child; this ensures total developmental care for the child. On other occasion,suppose one parent is being a strict disciplinarian and the other participating more in fun and enjoyment with the child;in this way,the child can enjoy the desired movie marathons or the like on weekends while also finishing the school work also on time,thus leading to fulfillment of education goals along with entertainment.
But,in the initial stages of parenting, the different approach of the other partner can sometimes cause stress,anxiety or discomfort.Even frequent arguments can get tiresome. Also, it can lead to inconsistent parenting where there are no agreements on rules and standards of behavior.
There are different ways to start 'parenting from the same page'.We can choose to change and adjust our strategies or approach to cultivate harmony and compatibility gradually ; OR seek it from the very outset of the parenting journey and be effective parents. We find ourselves doing exceedingly well in some areas and struggling in few others.Parenting no doubt is 'hard work'.We need to know when to compromise and share balanced responsibilities.
Let logic be your guide,not any preconceived notions which represent stereotypes about parenting often learned from mainstream media or immediate social circles.There are no best ways to raise a child.you cannot precisely plan to raise your kids,as there are no fixed approaches which can work for all the children.Most plans or ideas often run into the "Great wall of execution"when the time comes to actually apply them.
Each child is different and unique,so one has to keep improvising along the way.Effective communication with your partner is the main key in parenting .So discuss and then decide.Choose an approach that both agree with.
Easier said than done! Sometimes our feelings or ego can easily get in the way of logic and wise reasoning.After all !we're only human. As humans we all have a "herding instinct" which makes us feel calmer when others act in ways that fit our needs. If not, we get angry and anxious and try to control or 'herd' them .The challenge is to overcome this instinct and take control of our behavior. Love should be the basic principle behind our parenting rather than fear or competition.
Partners being on the same wavelength is a great help to build harmony in the family and present a united front for the kids.It takes prioritizing and practice.Let working as a team be your conscious strategy.It is best interest of kids when both parents respect each others' viewpoint even if their approach to parenting is different.Being imperfect in some or the other aspect is unavoidable, so avoid judging your parenting skills!
Parenting from the same page is challenging not impossible!It is a journey not a destination.Be understanding and accepting of each other to enjoy this amazing experience where you learn and grow as you move forward.