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Skip to c There must be lot of posts about the do’s and don’ts after delivery… but here i want to write about what not to do when a close relative or friend of yours has had a recent delivery. I recently delivered my little bundle of joy.. To be more precise about 2 months ago… And the post delivery experience for me was no less than traumatic… May be it is that way for a lot many girls out there… But i hadn’t been informed at the least that it would leave me so tired and irritated at our customs and practices. I was all set for a normal delivery.. But as luck would have it… I was diagnosed with low liquor and therfore had to opt for an elective C-section. As badly saddened by this news, i spent the day before my scheduled delivery in utter confusion, sadness and frustration. But then, it took me a little while to get hold and convince myself that this was the right decision. Next few hours were all spent in anticipation of the procedure and sooner than I knew, i was already kissing a cute little baby boy. Since i had a C- section, I couldn’t hold him in my arms immediately… And there crept the whole ‘normal vs cesarean dilemma’ again … I was shifted to a seperate room and the doctors broke the news outside to my family. I could hear distant voices surrounding the baby ‘s arrival and the happiness in each voice… How I wished i could have been a part of that enjoyment.. But alas, as i kept listening to the voices and as one by one my family was allowed to see me, i fell into deep slumber.. Not even knowing my baby’s whereabouts. After, i dont know how long, I was transferred to my room where the baby was already sleeping in his crib… I could not take my baby on my lap, coz doctors had advised to take rest and i could not sit… And i had a severe headache.. Spinal headache as they call it… To be honest my headache was so severe, that i just wanted to lay down on my bed with my eyes closed…during the 6 day long stay at the hospital, i was lying on the bed the whole time. I would just get up to for some food… That too just for a few mins. I couldn’t bear the headache when i was in a upright position, and later on lying on my back was also becoming painful. And so, i was really happy that my mom and sis in law were there to take care of the baby… And then started all the fun.. Relatives and family again started pouring in one after the other, and I was left with no choice but to rejoice in their happiness… Omg.. Did I just say ‘their happiness’. May be yes.. Tats true… Coz i was too tired and in pain to be anything but happy at that moment.. I know people say, that we forget all the delivery pains once we have a glimpse of the baby… But i would like to be realistic.. And believe me when I say that the baby wala moment is only at the first glimpse.. Afterwards when the realization of pain seeps in…. U Just want to be left alone… This does not mean I do not love my child… But when you know that the baby is in safe hands.. You can be a little selfish… And so how I wished that I be left alone with my bed… According to our beliefs, everybody wants to șee the baby immediately and boast about it.. As if it is some kind of race… ‘i went to see the baby in the hospital itself’ was a sentence i heard later all the time… And in my head, I was like… I didnt ask you too… No offense to the beliefs… I totally understand that some people really care about you and the baby… Or some are excited.. But people should think about the discomfort one causes due to the forced presence to see the baby…And in India, the number of relatives One has is not a small number.. And add to that friends list plus your husband’s friends list…And you get around 50-60 people on average visiting you during your complete stay at the hospital. On my third day after delivery, i was frustrated to the point of tears and I begged my mom to please stop this visiting thing. So I think this hospital visits should really stop.. It won’t harm for sure if people would visit after say 15-20 days.. Instead, there are many positive points about this… Number one and the most important, you greatly reduce the number of instances you subject the newborn to the risk of infection. We do use sanitizers before handling the baby, but some people don’t even do that. Reminding them makes us look bad. So, meeting the baby later will also reduce the number of times the baby is being handled. Secondly, the mother would be in a much better condition to converse and share her joy with you. Thirdly , between all the feeding and changing diapers thing alone , it would be a relief to the mom to have somebody to talk with. And lastly, the baby would also be much accustomed to his new surroundings till then and would look at you at the least. After this experience, i have myself decided to visit new moms and babies when it is most comfortable for them, and to call before visiting. So with all due respect to the sentiments of all the overjoyed relatives and friends of a new mother, it would be simply amazing to spend time with you at the appropriate time… And i sincerely hope everybody understands this logically and do not take it in a harsh way. Author amu2829Posted on July 30, 2017 Edit "No – no’s after delivery"