Should we have boundaries with children?
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|   Mar 29, 2016
Should we have boundaries with children?

I ask because i have boundary issues. I'm the kind of person who, once i trust you, invite you to be part of my whole world and you'll never hear a no from me. No matter how much trouble it causes me, physically or emotionally. 

I love both my kids (1.5yo and 4.5yo) dearly, and any demand from them hardly seems an imposition. Whether it's running after them to feed them, while they play some silly game or hanging upside down and reading a book, if it so pleases them. I enjoy it, well some of it. But when they say NO - you can't go out to dinner while papa puts us to bed, I wonder if I shouldn't give up on my plans too easily. 

There was that scene in English Vinglish, when Sridevi felt so 'being taken for granted' by her daughter. How does that end up happening? Will it happen to me? 

I've chastised my own mum several times (before i became one myself, that is) about going out of the way, giving up her leisure time, to make 4 different types of breakfast for 4 different kids. I never got it, when she said she liked doing this. Now I do. I no longer mind her making 4 breakfasts, but i do mind the 4 kids not appreciating it. Isn't that a result of her giving up her boundaries to make us happy, too?

So what is OK and what isn't?

Hitting isn't. Even if it is in play. The 1.5yo is too young to understand play hit vs real hit.

Giving up on phone/email/TV while the kids are awake is.

Choosing weekend activities that are equally involving for kids and us is.

Waiting for a movie to come on TV, rather than watching it in the hall with them, is OK.

Giving up on my dinner plans because they want me home everyday to put them to bed? what do you think? 

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