The roller-coaster ride of motherhood - waking up to reality
|   Oct 04, 2016
The roller-coaster ride of motherhood - waking up to reality

The "good news" of your arrival set a series of dreams in action. I instantly fell in love with the thought of holding you in my arms. I dreamt about singing lullabies to you, about lovingly feeding you, about watching you sleep in my lap and about all other perfect moments we will spend together. How I waited to see you, hear you and hold you in my arms.

However, waking up to reality was not easy.  Instead of the ideal mom and ideal wife of my dreams, stood before the mirror a sleepy, confused woman with unkempt hair and baggy pajamas. The perfect moments transformed into a roller-coaster ride. I woke up to reality when feeding you one meal felt like an achievement and involved narrating hour long stories. Singing lullabies meant remembering all your favorite songs by heart and singing them a hundred times before I could watch your angelic sleep.

Be it the sleepless marathon nights walking hours together singing lullabies, or the restless days improving my efficiency in changing diapers, life had definitely taken a roller-coaster turn. The glamorized expectations set by the Bollywood movies were dissipated almost instantly. I would find myself humming lullabies even at work sitting in office.  Upon realization, I would quickly look around to ensure if no one heard and smile at my stupidity. Or rather, smile at the irrational and loving mother in me who was missing her baby.

I now wonder what women mean when they say "I am a housewife and not a working woman". To me, it is almost redundant to use the phrase "working mother".  But, there is always a sense of satisfaction in everything I do for you. The bliss of your presence radiates my face and my life. Your happy face, innocent gestures of love and uninhibited laughter makes every effort totally worthwhile.

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