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A wife’s (working woman and a mother of 2 year old) weekday routine:
6:30 am: Wake up, clean up, freshen up.
7:00 am: Cooking (Includes cutting, chopping, washing, etc and cooking for the baby)
8:00 am: Wake up the baby, feed her, clean her pee and poop.
9:00 am: Massage and bath the baby, wash baby clothes and put them to dry.
10:00 am: Take a bath herself, get ready for work,
10:30 am: Feed the baby again (small snack) and put her to sleep
11:00 am: Eat (This is the first sit down meal she has. Breakfast is squeezed somewhere between cooking or feeding the baby)
11:30 am: Leave for work. Drive for 45 mins and reach office by 12.15 pm
12:30 pm – 8:00 pm: - Work like a donkey. Even if she loves her work, she cant help the tiring pace. In between squeeze some time for a couple of coffee and one lunch break.
8:00 pm: Drive back home
9:00 pm: Feed the baby, play with her.
9:45 pm: Dinner
10:00 pm: Clean the dishes, scrub the kitchen, bring back the baby clothes and arrange them back into wardrobe.
10:30 pm: Put the baby to sleep.
10:45 pm: Relax a little, read a liitle.
11:00 pm: go to sleep.
At night, get up a couple of times to check if the baby is wet, if she is hungry feed her milk, if she cries rock her back to sleep.
A husband’s (working father and a dad to 2 year old) routine.
8:30 am: Wake up, brush teeth, ask for tea and read newspaper
9:00 am: Have tea, watch morning news on NDTV/India TV and comment on BJP’s tactics and criticize Mahendra Singh Dhoni on his bad captaincy.
9:30 am: Go into the washroom and play games on iPhone.
10:30 am: Take a bath and get ready. (Ask whether the dhobi has brought back his favorite shirt.)
11:00 am: Eat. Get upset if the curry is not upto the liking.
11:30 am: Leave for office. Drive for one hour and reach office by 12.30 pm.
12.30 pm – 9:00 pm: Work, Squeeze some time for a couple of smoking sessions with colleagues. Discuss the pathetic state of Indian politics.
9:00 pm: Drive back home
10:00 pm: Reach home. Watch TV again while having dinner. Play with the baby.
11:00 pm: Some time off on WhatsApp and Facebook.
Wife’s weekly tasks:
1. Vegetable and fruits shopping
2. Grocery shopping
3. Toilet cleaning
4. Wardrobe cleaning
5. Extra laundry (Bed sheets/towels/curtains)
Wife’s monthly tasks:
1. Monthly grocery
2. Bill payments
3. Baby’s doctor’s visits/vaccinations/medications
4. House cleaning
Wife’s random tasks:
1. Preparation for the festivals
2. Attending to the guests (cooking various delicacies)
3. Random household shopping
4. Fixing electrical, plumbing, drainage or any other problems.
Her time out:
1. A couple of hours of extra sleep over the week end
2. A rare movie once in 3 months
3. A pizza dinner once or twice a month.
And still the husband says that its not much the wife is doing. It’s a routine for her and because she is a woman she has extra capability to cope and manage it. So its not extra ordinary.
On such occasions, I want to scream and tell all these lazy couch potatoes of the house:
Yes. It’s a routine for us. And yes - it doesn’t seem much for you because we work our asses off every day to make it look so routine. It takes tons of patience and hard work and months of experience to put everything into order and ensure that all these above mentioned tasks are completed on time without any error or deviations. Even if there is an uncalled guests at home, our entire discipline goes haywire and we have to exert ourselves twice as much to bring it back in place.
Yes, we have some extra capability. But that does not come from being a woman. We have worked on it for months and days. Experiences, situations, accountability and responsibility has made us stretch ourselves beyond our limits to extend our capabilities. And it was not easy like you might think. It was fucking hard.
But you will not understand it, because you have got it for free and you have got used to it. So you can very well take it for granted. And if we complain, you so naively tell us to leave it, don’t do it, dont strive so hard. But you will not understand the mother’s, the wife’s, and the woman’s obsession with following and living the same quality of life she has so painstakingly established. Where she is expecting you to upgrade your life you are asking her to degrade it.
What we ask is just a little effort and a little understanding from you. To help us in our endeavor for a perfection and excellence in each and every aspect of our lives. Its not for us alone that we are doing this circus. But its for the good of the entire family. Just live our life for one day and then comment whether its not much or its too much !!