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It was the one hundredth and thirty seventh time in this month that I had told my husband to organize his wardrobe. And one hundredth and thirty seventh time he had totally forgotten it and spent the Saturday doing his favorite things – sleeping, watching cricket, iPhoning and cracking bad jokes. Finally going against my own resolve and vows of not touching his wardrobe ever again, I spent two hours folding, segregating, cleaning and arranging his clothes in a way which is decent enough but also easy for the husband to maintain a little longer than his monthly average of 5 days. For the entire time I was doing this, I cursed my “wife gene” who in spite of feeling utmost resentment, continued doing what was “morally right”. And I thought the husbands the world over always take undue advantage of this “wife Gene” to avoid the boring tasks they don’t want to do.
After a day when my frustration was gone and I could think a little better, I thought I was a little too hard on my husband for a thing that was so important to me – NOT TO HIM. Why should I expect him to be as organized as me? Does the way he keeps his things affects how much he loves me ?? Sad that this did not occur to me earlier and I spent a couple of hours seething.
The truth is, the world over – one spouse will always be this organized, disciplined and cleanliness freak who would expect the other – a messy nomad types - to be the same. And mind you – this is not a Wife VS the Husband thing. I have seen many women who are disorganized and messy as hell having completely obsessive and compulsive husbands and yet as a couple they are doing great. But when two people with completely opposite styles of living share the bedroom and bathroom for the entire life, it is bound to create a major conflict once in a while.
Consider for examples
The point to think is – is it a make or break point in a marriage?
Cleanliness, hygiene, organization and planning of tasks, etc are a vital part of one’s life because they directly affect the quality of living. In fact they are also very important for maintaining good health and induce the importance of discipline in children. And it is imperative that the couples empathize and accommodate the habits and styles of their spouses - even if they are diagonally opposite to their own. If you stretch it too much – it is bound to break. Rather than blaming the other person for failing to maintain a standard, think if it’s really important than your mental well being.
For partners (men women alike) who are a little more obsessed about cleanliness/organization/hygiene -
Mind you, I have gone through seven agonizing years before realizing, accepting and writing about this fact. I don’t want to waste any more of my quality time worrying about folding the dried clothes and making each of the pots spotless clean. I want to lie down in my bed and read. But before I do that, can I just tuck the bedsheet my way ?? !!!