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Being different or having your opinion is okay:
You are a unique being. Why do a lot of people don’t understand this concept? Why is that we need to follow the herd? What will happen if we choose to be different or have our own beliefs? Why does this society make us feel guilty? These were some of the questions I have been asking myself lately for different reasons.
Right from our birth we are expected to follow certain way of living to belong to a family or society, which brings a lot of pressure and unnecessary fear for many of us. Some of us have controlling family and some have controlling partner. Life keeps pushing us to similar situations till we learn the lesson.
Therefore, Identify who is the real you is and do everything that makes you happy. Take time to analyze, who you are, make a list of your strengths and weakness.
Don’t give up your value or belief to make others happy. Above all, do not fear for being yourself. People who don’t respect our opinion and try to suppress us are not worth having in our life anyways.
This is the greatest gift you can give yourself. A lot of us feel guilty for no reason and choose to live in agony. So, talk to yourself. Reward yourself and keep praising yourself on little achievements you make every single day. Make a list of goals, you would like to achieve. Be proud of yourself and plunge within yourself to identify the talents and skills God has hidden within you. Look at the mirror every single day and say ‘I love you’, says Louise Hay. It may take time but constantly trying will help for sure. Kitchen is not the place where you belong to; you are more than what you think.
Let it go:
This is one of the hardest lessons that I am yet to learn. As women we hold a lot of grief, agony, anger, and fear in us unable or unwilling to let it out. Our mind loves to play the victim and unless we work hard we would fall in to the same pit over and over again.
Some of the effective ways to let go is my sharing with the professional, writing our heart out and burning the paper and discard everything that reminds us about the event or person.
Self-pity is one’s worst enemy. Have you heard yourself complaining that it happens only to you or that life is unfair or keep repeating this or that person has harmed you? Every time we face a sad situation, we would subconsciously seek being a victim. This is because, we are acknowledging external validation and not happy with ourselves which would further result in low self-esteem. As children, we would have got all the attention when we fell over or got hurt and this matter of conditioning has continued till now and will continue till we take constant effort to stop pitying our self. We need not seek approval from outside; we are the ones we need to please.
Overcome the people pleasing syndrome:
Most of us always want to please other despite of our own happiness. Right from pleasing our parents to partners and in-laws, the list goes on. We are taught to please everyone except our self. No matter how hard you try, you just can’t please everyone. This is the fact. Understand that everyone is different and you have the right to be different. So don’t be obliged to please people. They only hear what they want to hear.
Understand what real love is:
True love is not clingy. May it be to your partner or husband. A lot of us think holding on is a great act of sacrifice and determination. I have read articles where women hold on to a relationship or wait for the cheating partner to change or come back. Is it all worth it?
The truth is, Love cannot be forced. Marriage is a commitment, yes. But what can you do when your partner cheats or loses love for you. Respect your partner’s decision if they are not interested to be with you let them go. This is the greatest gift you can give to your-self. Holding on to such in-genuine relationship is only making a hell not only for yourself but your home too.
The good news is, you can choose not to be a victim if you make wise choices. You are not born to be patient, adjusting, sacrificing all the time. There is nothing wrong in expecting the same from your partner side too. Stop judging yourself or your partner. Love is a state of being and it’s inside you and not outside. Being dependent on other person for our happiness is the easiest way we humans adapt to escape reality and cover up for the emptiness we fell within ourselves.
Therefore, if the other person ends up leaving you, you feel empty and start looking outside for someone to fill the emptiness. Until this minute, you don’t realize that you are already bearing the pain body within you and no person or circumstance leads to this condition. When you are addicted to the other person and dependent on them for your happiness you become totally depressed to such separation or deceiving relationship.
Finally, true love is not addiction. When we are happy with our self we don’t seek external gratification. Love doesn’t come or go at different times of our lives, it exists within us forever. And until we learn to love our self, we are always in the search…