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Why do the parents put so much pressure on their children? Or rather I should ask, what do the parents want from their children? In the present competitive world, everybody wants their child to become an Einstein. Although each parent wants the best for his/ her child, they get so much engrossed with the societal, mental and academic pressure that they forget the simple fact that not all children are the same. Just because a child in their neighbourhood or a friend’s child is good at something, doesn’t mean that their child will also be equally good at that. In today’s hustle bustle, parents fail to understand the simple fact that each child is different and has his/ her own set of capabilities. We should not compare our child with others – neither in front of them nor behind their back. Doing the comparison in front of the child, affects the psyche of the child in a bad manner. The child might lose his confidence level and might think that he/ she is good for nothing. Even if parents don’t do that in front of the child, but have it in their mind, in affects the children since children can sense both positive and negative vibes from their parents. So if parents are tensed about it, it will reflect in their personality and will ultimately affect the children.
Right from pre-nursery/ nursery many parents put their children in different activities and over load them with lot of things, sometimes due to social pressure and sometimes since they don’t have time to spend with their children. While it is ok to give exposure to the children right from birth, there needs to be some balance maintained as well. If the child is not happy doing something, we should not push our child into it forcefully.
As and when the children grow, they are surrounded by academic pressure. Obviously we can’t do anything about our system of education. There is lot of burden on children. But many parents instead of understanding that, directly or indirectly put more pressure on the child by having high expectations from their children. If a child has done hard work and has got good results, the parents do not get happy about it. Instead of praising the child and boosting his/ her self-esteem they either get angry or sad since the child did not come first in the class. This kind of behaviour may develop depression in the child.
According to Dictionary.com, Education is the act or process of imparting or acquiring general knowledge, developing the powers of reasoning and judgment, and generally of preparing oneself or others intellectually for mature life.
But shamefully these days, many parents don’t understand that. As per them the most important thing is gaining marks in the assessment, doesn’t matter whether the child has learnt anything or not. One of my friends is a language teacher. She teaches French and as you know that speaking French is totally different from writing it, she focuses on the fact that children should know correct pronunciation of the language. But parents specially come to her and tell her that we don’t care if our child knows the correct pronunciation or not. We just want that he/ she should excel the language in writing and get good marks. She in fact shared one incident with me wherein one of her students got 99 out of 100 in his language assessment at school. She was very happy about it and was praising the child. But then the child’s parents arrived. They were in a grumpy mood and asked her to punish him as he did not get 100 marks in the exam.Student life is considered to be the best phase of one’s life. So let us give some space to our children. Let them do some free play. Let them explore things on their own. Also let us give some of our own time to our children – a parent and child time together with no barriers and obstacles in between – a ‘Me Time’ for them. Let them enjoy this phase of life. Let us relax and live our life with our children till the time permits. Once they grow up, they will have their set of responsibilities and problems to take care of and who knows whether then they have any time left for us or not...!