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Right from the time the little boy came to this world, we were always surrounded by family. I was a first time mom, totally clueless about how to take care of a baby, except for the few times that I took care of my newborn cousin and nephew. There was always someone, who was ever willing to pick the baby and give him to me for feeding, later taking him after the feed to burp him, because I was too scared to pick him up from the bed or even burp him for that matter. I was lucky enough to have people around me to take care of us and help me with the baby’s needs. Right from the initial days itself, I could sleep undisturbed, even if for a few hours, because my mom and husband were ever ready to take care of the baby during the night hours and even feed him my expressed milk. They took turns to stay awake, while they ensured that I got a proper sleep.
Soon, a month and a half passed by. The husband was back in Bangalore and it wasn’t fair on my part to disturb Amma’s sleep every night. She had already sacrificed sleeping in her room (her heaven) and it had been more than a month since she got proper rest. So, one fine day, I told her that the baby and I can sleep alone in our room. Ammumma offered to sleep with us, but the thought of sleeping alone with the little one was exciting and the fact that Ammumma, being a light sleeper, would have a disturbed night made me turn down her offer as well.
As day turned into night, I was anxious. There were so many questions inside me for which I had no answers. Would I be able to take care of him all by myself? Will I wake up when he cries? Will I sleep off in between the feeds? Will I be able to rock him back to sleep? It scared me, yet amidst all those anxiety was an excitement, and eagerness. And I didn’t want to spoil it.
As I switched off the light that night, a sense of motherhood in its truest sense came over me. I didn’t sleep properly that night, yet it was one of the most content moments in my life. As I lay down next to him, trying to hug the tiny squish that he was, I wished time stood still, yet I dreamt of all the days ahead and his future. I knew at that moment, come what may, I will be there for my little one whenever he needs me. That night the girl in me gave way to the mother in me and it will always remain special!
P.S: I have attached a video of unboxing the Johnson's Baby Care Collection in case you would like to see the contents and in general, if you would like to see a lovely video of a mother's feelings and excitement :)