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At a wedding reception, the bride's parents are getting ready to bid farewell to the couple, not before her father tells her that she will always be 'daddy's little girl'. Everyone is touched, has tears in their eyes and the groom, well he nods in agreement.
At another wedding, the groom's parents read out a tearful note on "how much their son means to them". The mother ends by saying her son will always be her little boy. Silence! The expression on the bride and everyone's face says it all.
In another completely different scenario, a girl is complemented for her tattoo that lovingly reads 'daddy's princess'. God help a guy who might have a tattoo glorifying his mum because it will surely ensure that he remains single forever.
If you have ever attempted to google 'daddy's girl' you will find several lovely quotes and pictures to describe this beautiful bond. To give you an idea, here's one that tops the list: "Daddy, I may find my prince, but you will always be my king". You'll find tons of cute images of girls holding their father's hand or dancing with "daddy" on their wedding day. Beautiful images that don't usually make the girl's boyfriend or husband feel insecure. So I googled 'mamma's boy' and after spending more than ten minutes, I realised that the ones I found had a sarcastic ring to it and the picture was far from pleasing: a guy hugging his mom while his angry wife looked on.
I too am guilty of branding a 'mamma's boy' as a completely spoilt, over dependent guy, incapable of making his own decisions. But why is one accepted and not the other? I remembered an incident where the husband and I were at a gathering and our toddler son, upset with the huge crowd and all the new faces was clinging to me like a leech. He refused to go to anyone (including daddy) and someone casually remarked that his behaviour was indicative of a mamma's boy and laughed so heartily. I didn't really appreciate the joke because at 19 months he really is MY boy. I wasn't going to waste my time explaining that I fully intended to raise him a confident, strong, independent, self-sufficient man.
Why is it that we're okay with someone being a 'daddy's girl' and run far away from a 'mamma's boy'? Isn't daddy's girl equally spoilt and attached to her father? Doesn't she not look up to her father when things go wrong? Does being a mamma's boy mean that he will love her more than someone in his future? That his mother will spoil him rotten to the point where he will never be able to make his own decisions? My answers will definitely be biased because I have a son and maybe yours too will be because of this "perception" that has managed to deceive us. Society has ensured that these two relationships can never be compared and the tag 'mamma's boy will never have the same sweet picture of a 'daddy's princess'.
So while I realise that this might never change, I hope that we can look beyond the negatives and truly see some positives of a son who has a close bond with his mother. While we might not like the fact that he loves his mother's 'perfect rotis' (or a hundred other things), there must be something special that must have caught the eye and captured the heart - a sensitive side, a respect for women, well-adjusted perhaps, a strong leader. Look beyond the 'tag' and think about some of those positives that caused you to choose him as your husband.
Ladies, I know many of you will disagree! Would love to hear your thoughts on this and thank you for reading.