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13 April, 1984. Rana family was blessed with their first child, a beautiful baby girl. They named her Mamta. A name so apt for her because she was filled with love for everyone. An introvert by nature, Mamta had a wonderful childhood with her two naughty brothers with whom she shared fights, love and laughter. Time flew by. She entered college and with that she got the first blow of life. She lost her father to a deadly disease. As they say time heals everything. She moved on with life and became the support system of her mother. She became a pillar of strength for her brothers.
She got admission in a renowned university for her M. Tech. For that she had to leave the comforts of her home and had to live in a PG near her college. That’s where I met her. A quite, slim girl who would open up only to close friends. We were roommates in PG and gradually we became best friends. The time we had there is still the best time of our lives. The fun we had, jumping the PG wall to watch a late night show, partying a day before exam, laughing our hearts out, sitting on the terrace and singing songs in our loudest voices. Other PG inmates used to envy us three friends for the bond we shared. That was the lifetime bond we had made which is still intact today. Only one missing now is you, Mamta.
After PG, we got jobs and then got married. Mamta found her man of dreams quite late than us. But when she did, she was the happiest girl on the earth. While she was dealing with her desire for motherhood, last year God snatched her mother. Yet again, she picked up pieces of her life and with the support and love of her husband she came to her normal life. But God had some different plans for her. She suffered miscarriage in her third month of pregnancy. This was 4th miscarriage in 5 years of her married life. Her desire for motherhood was getting stronger by each day. Her name became an irony. She was filled with ‘Mamta’ but had no child to shower that love. Yet she didn’t lose hope. She was lively, full of life, living each moment at a time. She had a strong support system in the form of her husband, brothers and we two friends.
On my last visit to my mother’s home, I asked her to come and meet me but we couldn’t meet. I was angry with her. Whenever we used to fight, we would not talk for days and then on one day out of blue one will call, scold and curse each other and we'll be back to normal again. I used to talk to her every 2 days. Three weeks ago, I got a job. I was getting back to work after 5 years. She was elated. With time I got busy with work and home. Talking in two days converted to talking in two weeks. Every day I would think I'll call tomorrow but that tomorrow never came.
Yesterday, I got the news that she passed away. It was a huge shock for everyone. I cursed myself and my job for getting busy. Then begun the series of wishes. I wish I had called her and talked to her. I wish I had met her. I wish we had never fought and so on. Whole night I cried my heart out. With swollen eyes in the morning, I am back to my work. The same job I hated yesterday. I am back so that I can keep my mind off her.
I guess, that’s how we humans are. We don’t value the person when he is with us. The moment he is gone we realise his value. We take life and people for granted, make huge plans for tomorrow, save money by killing our desires for a better tomorrow but don’t know that whether we'll be there or not. We get lazy and do not meet or call the people whom we love. Then one day when they are gone, our hearts are filled with regret.
It’s not the first time that I've lost someone. I've lost some near and dear ones in my 33 years of life. Each time I decide not to take people for granted but every time I forget it and regret it later on. I miss her. I miss her smiling face, her soulful singing which we used to make fun of, her remaining silent and we cursing her for being so. She was always the first reader of my blogs and my true critic. I miss each and every bit of her. She must be in peace with her parents and meeting her in laws (her husband’s parents passed away when he was small) in heaven. My heart goes out every time I think of her husband and brothers. I've seen time healing every thing. It'll happen this time also. I want her husband to move on and get love back in his life. As a friend, I want to see him happy because I am sure Mamta would also want the same. Her heart may have stopped beating but she'll always live in our hearts. Memories are all we have now and we'll treasure them forever.