Click here for shortcuts to regional language blogs and city-specific events.
Few days back, while having conversation with an acquaintance, popped the topic of love marriage and arrange marriage. She had an arrange marriage and said, my husband has never been in favour of love marriage. He thinks girls going for love marriage are not good girls. Really??? I mean, some people actually make their opinion about someone based on the type of marriage they had! Isn't that absurd??
Today while sipping my coffee, sitting on the terrace and looking at the clouds hugging the mountain peaks (view is breath-taking from my terrace) I wondered how different people have different definitions of a good girl. They are not bothered about how you are as a person, what you think, how your life has been. They pass a judgement based on the criteria they have set themselves. You are a ideal daughter if you always followed what your parents told you to do. You studied well, didn't go to pub, got yourself a job right after post graduation, got married by 25, had 1st child by 27, 2nd by age 30 and then become SAHM to take care of your kids. Anyone not following this have some problem in the view of society.
Another major factor for classifying a girl as good or bad is whether she is in love with someone or not. I seriously doubt if there would be any single person on this planet who would not want to fall in love. Its just the matter of time and destiny which decides how you meet your life partner. Some love stories see the light of marriage, some dont. But that certainly doesnt make girl in love, the one with less moral values. You dont decide to fall in love. This phenomenon just happens. In fact, people who go for love marriages are the courageous ones who dared to take a stand for their love, who questioned stereotype society.
Around me, I've seen so many examples of people marrying only for love despite the caste difference, language difference, cultural difference. One of my punjabi friend is married to Kannad boy. Another school friend is married to keralite. Jat girl is married to Christian boy. And believe me, they all are gem of a person. They are not only taking care of their family but also managing their career beautifully.
This so called definition of good girl comes from male dominating society where nobody questions a boy if he is having an affair but the girl is always questioned. In our country, pubs and discs are not meant for well groomed girls. If by chance you go there and people around you comes to know that you dont mind taking few cocktails with your friends than definitely you dont fall under the category of a sanskari' girl. It doesnt matter if you are polite and take care of people around you.
Its the high time when this definition of so called good girl' should be changed. We were raised at par with our brothers and other counterparts so we really dont mind doing all the things which they do. Rather than concentrating on what a girl is doing in her personal life, we should actually help her to raise further in life. Its often said that woman is the biggest enemy of another woman. We should prove this wrong and be each others strength.
Todays girl knows how to mutitask. She handles her home, family , career all and also parties hard. To take out her stress if she takes few drinks and goes to discs but also takes care of elders and kids at home. She knows how to juggle and to find some ME time for herself. She tries to make her marriage works irrespective of what type of marriage she had. She is todays, yesterdays miracle woman!