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A lot has been debated about the SAHM vs Working moms. It is a never ending topic to conclude that who is a better mom,the one who decides to be at home and look after the kids or the one who tries her best to handle both work and home by multitasking.I want to share my own experience with other moms on this platform to tell them how it feels as a child to a working mother and now myself as a mother.
Born to parents who both were in Govt service i use to stay in a creche till i was 12.Later when my younger brother was born i use to take care of him and myself when my parents use to go for work.Mom had to work that time for a better life with good education for both me and my brother.I remember the times i missed my parents especially mom when i needed her the most.Every child needs a mom the most in growing up years.After work there's very less time to spend with kids,and this Time makes a huge difference in a child. My mom didn't have the luxury to choose her kids over her job due to the financial conditions.
After my own experience i realised how important it is to be available to kids when you are needed the most.Only when my daughter starts to talk and tell me how her day was at school only then i can be sure that now its time to simultaneously think about my career too.I have worked in Time-share industry for 8years and imagining balancing the work schedules along with a baby is too difficult to even think.Really a working mom is like a Superhuman.
I am lucky enough to choose that i don't work till i be confident enough to get less worried about my daughter when she starts going to school.But some moms have to work due to the financial pressures.And some moms decide to balance both but let me tell you honestly its just a lie we tell ourselves.The first few years are very difficult for a mom to decide in whose care the baby should be when she goes to work.The daycare hunt,the nanny search is all on her mind.While at work too are the thoughts that is her kid happy at daycare or is crying,is fed on time or not. Is the nanny trustworthy and what not comes to a mother's worrying mind.Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.
If you are financially stable and have a spouse who can support your decision to take a sabbatical for looking after the baby then you should really think what your priorities are.Your time is the best gift you can give your child ever.I know it's difficult to get back to job and you have to start all over from where you were after you take a gap from your career still you as an adult can do that but a little baby who wants his mumma can't start it all over again.The time when he needed you the most would never come back.The choice you made would be worth with what you would get because of it.
Some moms are lucky to have their own mom or the in laws to take care of the baby without any hesitation which is another option as they won't miss the belonging and care which comes from a family member but taking for granted that they would be willing to do it is wrong.Discuss with them if they are willing and would like to take care of the kids when you are at work.
When we think of getting pregnant,the first thought should be who takes care of the baby?As it is more important than just planning a pregnancy without thinking about the aftermath.If you plan to take a break then financially preplan those years when you will be at home.Working from home is another option if your organisation allows.
But spend the first few years with your kids until they are able to talk and tell you about how was their day at school/daycare.You can't guess or make assumptions as kids are most vulnerable.
Lastly we all do what is in our best capabilities for our children.I read this quote in Pinterest and it is so apt here,it says,
“Being a Mother is not about what you gave up to have a child,but what you have gained from having one”.