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I checked my mobile, it was 11 pm and he had still not come. I thought he is testing my patience so I decided to wait a little bit more and started to surf shopping websites. After half an hour my endurance broke and I called him. Oh my God! His phone was out of reach. I became so anxious because of this and thought where he might be? I kept on calling him then at 12:30 am his phone finally ranged, tring tring tring.. But he did not pick up. I tried several times but I did not get any response from him. I became nervous and fearful thinking about the reasons why he is not picking up the phone. Maybe he dropped his phone somewhere? Or Is he struck up with some work?Or…… No I don’t want to think that. I started praying to God that he picks up the phone but I don’t know why even God was not answering my prayers. Some very -very negative thoughts came to my mind which I don’t even want to express. Then it came to my mind maybe he is still angry with me about that argument which we had three days before.
It was Sunday and like a normal wife, I expect my husband to spend some quality time with me and the six months old baby. He had a cricket match with friends and he told me that he will be back by 11 am. I waited for him till 12:30 pm and then I called him and came to know as his match started late, he would not be able to come before 2:00 pm. I thought that he also needs to rejuvenate himself and activities like this will recharge him completely for the week ahead. But he broke my heart as he did not turn up till 9:30 pm and to add fuel to fire he didn’t even pick up my phone after 2 and kept on disconnecting. Being new mother it becomes so hectic for me to take care of my little princess and my family, though my mother-in law is very helpful, still the support which a partner can give is inequable. When he came we had a massive quarrel and said some wounding statements to each other which should never be said. He blamed me for being too pushy and always barging in with many phone calls. Listening to this I stated him that from now on I will never interrupt his life with my calls nor would I share any of my feelings with him.
Three days passed on without any phone calls or any unneeded conversations. I felt bizarre in these three days. I was missing his long lectures which he kept on giving me on childcare. He is very possessive about our daughter. So he calls me frequently to know her eudemonia in his absence. He makes me mad with his unending questions about the little one. Why is she not asleep till now? Why have you taken her out all by your own? Did she poop? Did you feed her? For how many hours did she sleep? I always got irritated with this unending questionnaire and thought when I will get a day free from this. I wanted gravity-less life but now I desperately wanted to tie myself again. I realized one more thing that parenthood is challenging not only for a mother but equally for a father so he needs some time for himself achieving equilibrium in life.
Today when he was leaving for work I wanted to apologize and hug him but my stupid ego came in between. Now here I am waiting for him unknown about his location and well-being. While my thoughts were playing seesaw my little angel woke up and started crying. I fed her but she didn’t stop weeping, this made me more apprehensive. I started chanting Durga Chalisa while swinging the little one in my arms. I cursed myself so much for fighting with him, for thinking of against him, for expecting so much from him. I cherished so many moments where my better half made me feel so special. After intoning Durga Chalisa for five times I called him again and he picked up. I totally broke into tears and said, “ I am sorry. I am so sorry. I am really very sorry for everything I said or did which hurt you. Please come home”. He replied, “ Do not cry. I am coming.”
When he came back I did not want to know where he was? Why he was late? I just wanted to embrace him forever. Obviously the question answer session did happen but after some cuddly moments and hundreds of sorry and thank you.