Scene: My 4 year old daughter is playing with her most prized possessions- toys consisting of blocks, kitchen playsets, parts and pieces of various playsets all mixed up in a jumble, thrown across the floor of my living room and portraying a picture of a room ransacked by a hurricane moments ago! While I try to make my way through this mess as I rush to answer the doorbell, accidentally stepping onto one tiny winy block piece that comes in my path and uttering a loud 'Ouch', my daughter continues to be engrossed and awed by her self-engineered marvel made by the same old building blocks that she has been playing with ever since she learnt to even grasp objects by hand.
Does this colourful picture ring a bell or tells the story of a day in the life of every other mother to young kids?
Well, old worn-out but 'throw-me-not' stuffed toys, partly built building blocks, jumbled up plastic puzzle pieces, unfinished colouring and activity books, and hundreds of unidentifiable broken or pulled out toys pieces and stationery occupy pretty much of the shelf space in your child's play room. Kids just can't seem to get enough of their toys pretty much like we ladies who can't seem to have enough of clothes in our wardrobe. After all, kids learn from us parents, don't they?
This is just one of the many bothersome concerns that a new mother has that manages to infuriate you when blown out of proportions, isn't it?
If u ask me, its not her uncountable number of toys, incessant demand for more, public display of obstinance outside, overindulgence in TV and gadgets like mobile phones & tablet, fussiness over food choices and meal times, cajoling sessions for finishing that glass of milk, etc etc. But its her conscious and repetitive denial to obey my simple instructions is what gets on my nerve and irritates the most.
The true test of patience for a mom comes when her stubborn but innocent little brat refuses to obey her orders or shall I say words of disciplining in true sense. 'A mother is the first teacher' they say and the entire onus of disciplining and correcting the improper endeavours of those innocent little wonders lies on the mother in most cases as she is the one spending most of her time with them. And what happens when the so called strict martinet loses her temper & patience? A tight slap on the face or a deliberate but controlled spank for the poor kid who falls an easy prey of her wrath is the ultimatum.
Repercussions of hitting your two or three year old often take form of guilt, self- annoyance and resentment in your mind and sometimes tears in your eyes... Oh, Why did I hit my baby? Why didn't I control my temper? Why did I fly off the handle so easily? are thoughts that cross your mind soon after you see your little one crying and bawling as a result of your untoward action.
Hitting your child, raising your voice, scolding and reprimanding are some of the common and most widely used methods adopted by parents especially mothers across the world in striving to inculcate discipline & morality in their child's behaviour. But is this the right approach? we often ask...
A lot has been told and preached about how raising your voice and hand on your children has detrimental effects on their personality in future and how resorting to these sorts of retribution for young children is best avoided.
But being a mother who can't even see tears in her little one's eyes, how is she expected to be the one cause of such infliction? Come on mommies, time for a confession. Take a moment to stir your soul & dig into your memories to recall at least one if not more incidences when you undesirably hit your little one when he/she was as small as a toddler??
Be it a vexation of your anger or frustration, the herculean task of managing daily chores, office work, or ever-increasing tantrums of a toddler does take a toll on your patience and self- control and you tend to lose it at the drop of a hat.
Despite being at the receiving end of your indignation, your baby loves you unconditionally and will only look up to you for comfort whenever he is anxious or fearful. What goes on in the little one's mind is incomprehensible but be rest assured, your baby thinks highly of you and no matter what side of you he sees today, he knows only one thing- my mommy is my saviour!
So embrace your child today with love and affection, dumping all those acts of regret in past and resolve to behave like an adult when it comes to handling your children. I know it can get tough but its not impossible. No one loves your child more than you yet you do not think twice before smacking your little one cause you know you are doing it for their own good, to teach them the right from wrong and sometimes just to put your point across. Whatever be the reason, there is no justification for this unfair practice and it will only make you repent later on.
I believe I can speak on behalf of each and every mother who has been a member of this guilt ridden gang and as I pen down my regrets today, I make a solemn promise to myself that I will only instill love, care and affection to my kids without giving in to my temperament or irritation.