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I was busy in doing the household chores when the phone rang. It was Vrinda who was two years junior to me in my office and now a friend cum little sister. Time seems stopped when we do our chit chat. I picked up the phone And her voice was a bit low . After little probing she opened up "Di! I want a second child but he is not ready for this"
"If you really want then try to convince him. Give some examples of couples who have two kids. Or tell him the importance of siblings"said I.
" I tried with all my might. But he is not ready " said she.
"Hmm. Try once more . Perhaps he will agree." Said I.
This was all i could say to her . I, who always lecture on women empowerment, who always guide her relatives how to fight (or you can say get) for their rights, had nothing to say on this.
If it would be regarding financial decisions at her home, I could have suggested her to get some knowledge about investments and financial terms and to take her decisions herself .
If it would be regarding any injustice towards her by her in laws Or husband, I could have suggested to keep her point in front of them and fight for your right.
But in this case, I could not help her. I could not say to go and fight to have a baby.
I agree , in our Indian society most of the decisions are taken by men. And to overcome this problem , we always talk about women empowerment . We always talk about to raise our voice against any injustice. But if the decision to have a baby or not is taken by men, what should we do ?
Do you think for this we should raise our voice or have fight ? Should a woman have baby against her husband's wish? Or there should be a law like other laws that a Indian husband can divorce a woman if she wants child against his wish(as recently Supreme Court passed a law that a husband can divorce his wife if she forces him to stay separate from his parents)
No !! I don't think it should be.
Parenting is a beautiful journey. And it's beautiful only if both the parents are together for the baby. To have a baby is a mutual decision.If any one of them does not agree, then the other one should not force his or her will on the another.
One of my friend, who wanted a second baby and her husband did not , tried to convince her husband many times and at last her husband unwillingly agreed. Now she has two daughters but her husband doesn't even look at the younger one. He always says" it was your decision to have a second baby , so you yourself take care of her"
In this case who is in loss ? Only the poor baby who is deprived of her fathers love.
So if we go against another partner's will , only the baby would suffer. This is the decision in which both partners should sit together and decide. To have heart to heart conversation if one is reluctant or wait for some time till the reluctant partner agrees. And the last option to give in to another's wish. Argument or fight is definitely not going to help neither parents nor baby.
This is my opinion. What do you say?