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So I thought of writing a blog today. Frankly speaking, I am very bad at expressing myself, my emotions through speaking out loud, but writing is like a a bit easier.
Introducing myself, I am a working mother of a eight and a half month old little kiddo. Me, my little princess, my husband and my mother-in-law stay together in a 2 BHK flat – a normal middle class family. So yesterday when i got was down with loose motions, vomiting, a very bad stomach ache and fever, no one but my husband and my mother-in-law to take care of me; I felt like being ill for a mother or for a wife or a daughter-in-law is a crime. They don’t have the permission for even getting ill. In the morning, when I was so much down with cramps that I could not eat anything, because at that time even drinking ‘shikanji’ made me felt like vomiting; my mother-in-law was worried not about my condition but who is gonna take care of me tomorrow as she could not (yesterday was Sunday, so my husband was giving me water, shikanji and medicines). What the hell!!
I did not answer her because that would have meant another war in the house. But I wanted to ask her if her own son or daughter would have been in the same situation, had she thought the same?? Just a few days ago, my husband went through the same health disorder. At that time my mother-in-law was not here, but I did not say the same thing to his son.
She gets upset when my husband cooks in the kitchen because that is something meant for me as per her thinking. But then in that case she does not say anything when I do all the work that is meant for her son (as per the man-woman work book rules). One day when she came back from her hometown, my husband prepared the dinner as I was taking care of my little one and that too because my husband finds cooking easier than handling my chotu. It was what he opted for, but my mother-in-law was in tears. OMG!! Haw! How can my husband cook in the kitchen?? Her husband has not even entered the kitchen in all these years. And what she said was that before marriage her son (unfortunately my husband) did not even use to take water himself, he was treated like a prince. SO?? Even today when I go to my home, my parents do not allow me enter the kitchen, but I do everything here. I never complained. Or that is just what is expected.
I am so glad my parents did not embark so useless thoughts about being a girl in my mind. We are two sisters and we never felt like we are less than a boy. Undoubtedly my parents would have loved us the same way if we were boys, and not girls. But my mother-in-law does not think the same way. I do not blame her, it is the thinking that all the girls or for that matter, even the boys are brought up in our society. But she needs to change her thinking now.
Gone were the days, when women’s work was to take care of only the house & family. In those times too, the household work was only a women’s job because they did not use to go outside and earn for livelihood. Then was when the work was perfectly segregated for the men and women. Men used to earn and women used to take care of house & family. But now times have changed. What is it that my husband do and I don’t? Apart from being born with different genders, what else differentiates us? We both are highly educated, we both earn well for our livelihood. Yes, I do agree that he must have had more alcohol than me till now, he must have been into more fights than me, he must have watched more porn than me; but I don’t think that is something that needs to be proud of. I have seen girls who do lot a messier stuff than he had ever done. So what makes us different? Just the society’s thinking where I am supposed to take care of my child when my chotu gets ill, where I am supposed to prioritize my career after my child, my husband and my in-laws, where my residential society’s meetings does not expect a female member, where people expect a party only for a baby boy’s birth, where on the birth on first girl child people think that the second one should be a boy.
COME ON PEOPLE, give me a breaaaakkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!