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Motherhood, with all its variegated emotions brings along this one too, Worry! We all worry about the well being of our children, for the rest of their and our lives.In the beginning stages of motherhood, the worry is about how much the baby eats, sleeps, poops and cries.
Later it translates to the epic milestones. Has my baby missed a milestone or is he/she lagging behind? And then comes the pre-school anxiety, kindergarten anxiety and of course the long lasting school anxiety right from 1st grade to until they find a job!Do I even need to tell you about the marital woes that begin once they find a job and are so called “settled” or rather “unsettled” in life, because after all don’t we all say, “Now that you have a good job, you should settle down.” So, in a nutshell, no matter how many milestone birthdays’ we may have passed, we as mothers and our own mothers will always worry.
But the degree of this worry reaches its peak when our children get sick; be it a common cold, upset stomach or pneumonia. Till date if by mistake even, I sneeze while talking on the phone with my mom, out comes a pat reply “are you ok, are you not feeling well?” She still worries about me and of course growing up I never understood why. Why would she stay up late until I got back home from the movies, or why would she stay up late, checking my temperature even though I was feeling better, but honestly, now I do. I do, because I find myself doing the same thing. When my little one gets sick, I hardly sleep. When she is not back home at a particular time from the park, I worry about her whereabouts. When she doesn’t eat well, I worry about her weight and health. And the list can go on. But I have come to realize one thing; no matter how hard we may try not to, it is an inbuilt app, which comes free when we download motherhood.
So, in my quest to get to a fine balance between worrying too much or not at all,
I propose the following:
1. Get facts – Women are emotional beings, especially moms. When our child falls ill we get emotional rather than getting facts and if its flu season, we conclude that he/she might have swine flu. I too, am a victim to this type of behaviour and I am trying to change that. I try not to rely on Google re for all my answers and get on the phone or in person with her doctor.
2. Prevention- The main thing we worry about is our child’s health and especially in the winter season when the chances of them getting sick are high, it is best to prevent them from getting sick in the first place. The best way to do this is to incorporate foods/supplements that would increase their health quotient. For e.g. since winter warrants an increase in fat intake I make sure to use Sunny Oil which is fortified with the Power of 5 (Vitamins A & D, Omega 3 fatty acids and is naturally cholesterol free). Also feeding various Amla (gooseberry) preparations like Amla candy, Amla juice, Amla jam etc, toughens up their immune system and keeps those pesky bacteria at bay.
3. Don’t inherit worry – The reason I say this is because as moms we must be able to tolerate certain amount of risk with our children. I have seen my own mother worrying to the highest degree and I guess some part of me always prayed that I don’t inherit that. I have! And so, I need to be more careful that I don’t allow my little one to see that side of me lest she will inherit it from me.
4. Get Reassurance – If something bothers me, I speak to a friend/mother/relative who I think is less anxious than me about things and life in general. Surrounding ourselves with those who worry less is the best way to tame our anxiety and keeps our fears in check. It gives us clarity in thought and action.
5. Positivity – Keep company of positive people, positive information and positive actions. I try not to watch violent movies, negative media and such so as to keep negative thoughts at bay, which according to research ultimately feed your fears and make you worry.
6. Tame it – Join a meditation class, religious group or prayer meets whatever works. Get spiritual. When we are a part of such groups, we realize the general goodness the world holds and transform our worrying into prayer. And we realize that worrying doesn’t really stop things from happening, rather it makes us weak and clueless.
While we may not be able to completely disable this app, we can promise ourselves that we will always give it our best to give them a healthy and a happy future. #KaroEkHealthyFutureKaVada