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This is one dialogue which I have heard since my childhood. But till now, I haven't been able to apply it fully. My father uses it aptly. Why? Because he has developed a habit of doing so. And he remains so calm due to this one habit.
All married women would agree that when you enter your 'sasural', you are expected to listen to everybody. That's what happened with me too. I was overloaded with advice to listen to everybody in 'sasural', and that's how I would show respect to them.
But is this possible for a human being to listen to everyone and follow? I mean even a robot can follow instructions of only one boss.
Within few months, I got into depression. Because I thought I was bound to follow everyone's orders. And I started getting disappointed with myself, and subsequently with everyone.
It took me 7 years to come out of this. Even today, there is a negative voice inside me which orders me to do as everyone says. I always have to reply myself that it's not me. This was fed inside me by someone else.
Now I want to be like my father. He always listens to everyone. And just say "Dekh leinge". And then he does what he thinks is good for him. And I know he doesn't take any decision which is wrong for anyone.
This is for all ladies who live in a joint family. I know what all of us are going through. We can never be enough. So, let's start to stand up for ourselves. Let's say minimal words even if we don't agree. Because if we say something, however logical and correct, we are pressurized to say sorry because we insulted them.
That doesn't mean we have to do as they say. Do what you want to do. After all, it's your life and you have every right to lead it the way you want to.