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“I love spending time with myself because I have rediscovered myself! I am in love with ME!”
This sounds like a teenager talking or perhaps sounds like a very selfish, self-centered person; but before you form any opinions consider your schedule as a wife, daughter, daughter-in-law, mother etc etc (It’s a long list!).
The entire day from dawn to dusk, is spent in performing these role and you get so caught up in being all these characters that you forget who you actually are (or were)! Eventually, all this leads to frustration and for some it leads to serious depression which doesn’t even get addressed….
This is more or less what happened after I became a mother for the first time. Just two years into marriage and I had another degree attached to my name – mother! I also suffered from severe ‘post-partum’ depression that lasted longer than I would have liked!
If I hadn’t pursued my love for writing, I would’ve continued in that state much longer. Self realization made me recognize the need for a ‘Me time’. I had to re-discover myself before I slipped deeper into the oblivion called depression.
I had a flying decade long career before I decided to give it all up for my first born; a decision I was glad I made. I was not courageous like the other moms who due to circumstances, must leave their little ones home and join back work. I knew I couldn’t have been able to manage all fronts as well as they do, hence I decided to become a SAHM (Stay at home mom!). But the career-woman in me didn’t leave me alone for long as I felt the constant emptiness and a feeling of ‘doing nothing constructive’ during the free time I got while my son slept.
I started writing poems again and soon I had ideas buzzing in my head which translated into short stories and a Novella! Writing kept my mind occupied and somehow elated! So while my son slipped into his world of dreams, I would weave a world of stories! It helped me overcome the depression.
We all learn from trial and error and I too learned from my experiences. While it seems too selfish to others around, it is a must to spend some quality time with yourself.
Not everyone may have the luxury of time but we can surely spare atleast 10-15mins for ourselves. It could be as trivial as reading a magazine or few pages of that book that you have been dying to read since long; speaking or connecting with a friend on phone, painting your nails or simply take a leisure bath!
With loads of help and support from hubby whenever he is here (He has a job that requires him to travel for months together) and a house help for good part of the day; I am blessed to get more of that ‘Me time’ now after my 2nd son (he is two years old). Taking my elder son’s studies, spending time with my toddler and then using the remaining time for writing, completing outdoor chores and even dedicate an hour for physical fitness!
It’s very blissful to spend time with yourself, explore and discover the Women in You! It is also nice to squeeze time for that occasional ‘girls only’ outing with your school/college friends. And also take time out to re-live those ‘pre-marriage and pre-kids’ days with your spouse!