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Let me start by the same title that I have given to my blog.What's my identity...? Recently this question has been bothering me and I am sure many of you specially stay at home moms would have wondered about it at some point or the other.A few years back when I left my practice as an architect to follow my husband and take care of my kid I thought that that's exactly what I wanted, but as my husband got busier and kid spent most of the time in school and playing with friends I found myself sitting at home and wondering "now what do I do?"
Getting a job or starting my practice again seemed like an impossible task, after all it was 10 yrs since I left everything plus there were lots of dependencies on me. So I kept wondering am I just going to be a stay at home mom or as some people call it "housewife" for the rest of my life. Is that my identity now?
These thoughts worsened after an incident that happened when I went to visit a friend. Her in-laws were visiting her that time, after the greetings and introductions came the usual question... "So what do you do?" And my answer, I stay at home and take care of house and kid.My friend's father-in-law then mentioned how proud he was that his daughter-in-law pursued her career and was so much successful."Otherwise how would I introduce her to people that she is only a housewife? that is no introduction " he said.
That comment left me a little stunned and sad. Is it really nothing to be just a stay at home mom? Is that identity not enough? Why are people impressed with working mothers while stay at home moms never get any credit for what they do? Why do I have to create a new identity just to earn people's respect? why can't I be respected and appreciated for my humble identity as a stay at home wife and mother?All these questions started piling up in my mind.It left me feeling empty and degraded.
I just wish people change their mindset and attitude towards stay at home moms and realize that they are doing an equally important job,and appreciate them for the sacrifices they made for their family so that everything runs as smoothly as possible.