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The legendary 7 year itch has given way to the 4 year, 3 year or even 1 year itch nowadays !
I remember my husband saying "will you be my girl" to me, many years back and we couldn't wait to jump into marriage thinking that the warm fuzzy butterflies-in-the-stomach-feeling will last forever. We were drunk, had met at a nightclub and have spent past 15 years arguing that we met at a Nightclub!
We change physically and mentally every couple of years in our personal growth ,life experiences, goals and changing circumstances and knowledge. Our male and female brains work in complicated ways and react to the same emotions, behaviour and personalities in different ways.
As a woman I think that the bright ,sunny blue skies, and the Honeymoon phase will go on forever ,but even one year into marriage and we all forget to Communicate, Connect and Check in with each other.
What to do when the high adrenalin and the high dopamine wears down? How to keep the marital fires burning bright?
Introspect and re-examine your Marriage Treadmill.Work on your marriage glitches and break out of your negative pattern of taking each other for granted.
Rediscover what you love about each other and learn to deepen your bond by communicating things with each other and that will be a positive step in the right direction.
Make some changes or do some attitude adjustment. Get real and stop blaming ,criticising and disrespecting each other.
With conflict you lose interest in the marriage over time.Don't let your gourmet fancy meal change to your boring hospital food.
Even Wikipedia terms the 7 year itch as a psychological term leading to a perceived happiness decline in marriage over time- So it’s a universal phenomena and not just something you and I go through.
We all have our Relationship-Milestones where the sexy text messages and romantic surprises eventually give way to monotony and boredom. Avoid feeling trapped in the daily rut doing the same thing everyday ,time after time. Monogamy should not turn into Monotony. Plan surprises and romantic getaways once in a while.
Avoid Intimacy breakdown and re-ignite faded passion. When the honeymoon ends, reality sets in.There is no Mr. or Mrs. Perfect.Keep the love alive by planning things which your partner likes and enjoys, even though you might struggle with new ideas.
Fight the inclination to become unfaithful .Fight bad memories, lack of passion, resentment and unresolved issues. Go back to loving unconditionally.
Councelling is always an option to survive the crisis-Don't be scared to seek outside help. Turn to a relationship councellor. Sometimes a third outside person can put things in the correct perspective for both of you.
Don't suppress your feelings of unrest or anxiety but learn to get out of the doom and gloom.
The costs of being in a relationship should always outweigh the benefits of quitting.