SILENT TEARS
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|   Apr 27, 2017
SILENT TEARS

A 32 year old IT Engineer Meera, was sitting in her bedroom. There was a lot of commotion inside and outside . It was monsoon in Mumbai and had been raining since morning. The monotonous pitter-patter of the rain on the terrace was annoying Meera to no extent. It was dull and gloomy outside and having no access to the outside world due to her present health condition , Meera had no other choice but to stare blankly at the wall.Her parents had flown in from their hometown to be there with her . Her husband Santosh had taken leave from his office for a few days to give her company. Some of her extended family was visiting her and her mother with the cook was busy making preparations for a feast. Overall , the inside of the house seemed cheerful with everyone engaging in small chit-chats, enjoying the monsoon; the room filled up with the aroma of coffee and pakoras , a perfect condiment to a rainy day. On any other given day Meera would have been the heart and soul of the gathering beguiling everyone with her roaring laughter, and constant chatter. Even when everyone got tired she would keep the group energised and the fun would continue.

But not today. She was staring at the blank wall with a few short responses to any queries thrown at her. The skies seemed to drown in her sorrows and yet she was not shedding a single drop of tear. Her heart was aching and nothing seemed to soothe her. From when she was a little girl, food always seemed to cheer her up but even her favourite pakora tasted bland. She kept staring at the wall.

Two days before she had returned from the hospital. She had suffered a miscarriage. Third one in a row. Meera was a successful professional, an independent working woman with no financial woes. Her husband Santosh was extremely loving and caring. She meant the world to him. She was a single child . Her parents adore her. She had a perfect life.

Everybody including Santosh had tried to explain her , its okay. We will be lucky next time and if not we will always have each other. But her whole world seemed to fall apart. Being a mother was not her desire, it was necessity to Meera. Meera had grown up with a lot of affection from her family. She was a good and obedient girl, a brilliant student. So everybody at home and at school loved her. She had two dreams. One to be a successful professional and second to have a beautiful family of her own. All her life Meera believed to achieve success one has to work hard. There are absolutely no shortcuts. So she studied hard. Got herself into a prestigious institute and assured herself a successful career. Once having completed her studies her parents found her a match in Santosh. Meera was happy to settle down. An arranged marriage is no cakewalk yet they both managed to navigate the choppy seas of the initial years of married life. It was lot of work and sacrifices and fights yet all was worth. Santosh was the man of her dreams. But now everything around her seemed to crash .

What if she does not have kids? Through whom will she relive her wonderful childhood? Whom will she teach the wonderful things she was taught? Whom will she love and adore unconditionally? What if her dream of a family is never fulfilled? Santosh was wonderful but he was not enough , she had never told him that. Santosh was hurting too yet trying to keep up a brave face. Meera was trying not to shed tears as she knew that would add to Santosh's agony.

She was staring at the blank wall dreaming how things could have been so much different and so much better. She closed her eyes and tried to imagine her three children playing together in the lush green meadows of heaven. A thunderclap brought Meera back from her reverie. She felt something warm running down her cheeks. Her tears seemed to spiral out of her control . Suddenly she broke down. The monotonous pitter-patter of the rain had stopped outside as the clouds seemed to find haven in the big beautiful eyes of Meera.

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