How I fail as mother: many times... everyday...
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|   Feb 09, 2017
How I fail as mother: many times... everyday...

I'm not sure how it works in other countries, but here in India we are brought up with a special (so called) "value" that we never can counter question our elders about. It just doesn't matter weather they are right or wrong, but we can never correct them, we can possibly never question what they are doing and how they are doing.

I am married in a joint family and am mother of a 3 year old son and 2 days back my daughter turned 6 months. The age that I had thought I ll start weaning her off. But what do you expect in a family like mine? It's a joint family afterall!!! Who am I to take that call or make any decisions pertaining to my kids? How can I be so heartless (in their eyes) to decide something for my kid?

I can't deny there are so many people who love my kids abundantly and adore them like their own. I agree they have right to sometimes correct them and they also have best interest and intent in their hearts and minds for them. But I fail to understand that what kind of love permits them to harm someone's kids.

How can a 60 year old grandfather not know how much it would harm a 3 year old's eyes being on phone screen for prolonged hours?

How a 56 year experienced and wise grandmom won't know the harms of feeding chocolates and laddoos not just as fillers but as meals?

How a 30 year smart chacha doesn't know that speaking to a kid using few English words won't harm his Indian values and cultures?

How 80 year old great grandmother doesn't realise that feeding her half eaten curd to a 4 month old might cause harm and infections?

Well!!! I moved out of the Indian culture and family value box and for the sake and well-being of my kids corrected them multiple times on the cost of being labelled a bad bhabi, a stubborn daughter in law and even a crappy wife. But things don't change here.

My heart bleeds when I enter my father in law's room to pick up my son and he starts shouting "No, Go away, I hate you, don't take me". Every time he tells me that he won't tell anyone that Dadu shows him phone, when he doesn't eat food for weeks and cries for chocolates inconsolably. When he says looking at monkey "ye bander hai, monkey nai hai".

I am OK if my kids love their grandparents more than they love me. I never had one so it's lovely to see their bond and relation. But it kills my love for my own family when my kids are taught to be afraid of me or when they are made to feel that they are being loved by everyone else more than what I do. .

I wish when we grow old, we grow wiser and with lesser ego. I think it's more of ego that suggests the generation above us that they are always right and in that race of proving it right they harm their own blood, they hurt their own family and they set such wrong examples.

I request all reading this, please let's raise a happier world, kids who aren't scared or hate their own parents. Hate anyway is a very wrong feeling for such a little soul.

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